My hot take is that trying to solve male loneliness is basically worthless because dating apps and social media have all but destroyed in person organic relationships for a large quantity of people

This is gonna sound cringe but only abandoning patriarchal culture will save them

Instead of today's thread, let's have some fun

1 RT = 1 Life Lesson

First one is on the house.

-Thread-

Those you trust the most are those in the best position for betrayal.

Active listening is a false God.

Most people will waste your mental space.

If you want to say "no", dont use any other word.

Seeking approval is the first step to auto destruction

I’ve put together my list of top 10 tips for early career researchers and I’m going to share it here as promised. But first a disclaimer...I don’t know everything. This list is based on my experience in academia. I would love for others to add and augment. With that in mind....🧵

1: Decide what you want your LIFE to be. This career could consume you completely if you let it, but it won’t always love you. Focus on the other things in your life that bring you joy and fulfillment and cultivate those just as much as you cultivate your research career.

2: Decide what you want your CAREER to be. What are your values? What are you in this for? There will be hard times. But knowing your values and what success means to you can help guide you through them.

3: Decide whose opinions really matter to you. Mastery requires feedback and you will get a lot of it, some useful some less so. Identify the small circle of people you can really trust to give it to you straight. This includes forming a no committee.

4: People are people are people. Don’t be afraid to email someone about a postdoc or job or grant idea. We’ve all been there. Some people are not generous people. This is good information to have. Move on to other colleagues and mentors if you encounter these people.

Social Intelligence 101:

If your friend is telling you about an accomplishment, do not try to one-up them by sharing an accomplishment of your own.

Tame your ego.

Sit back and actively listen.

I have now been sick with #longcovid for almost a year—below, some reflections on my convalescence. (1/10)

While remaining mostly functional, in many ways, I'm more sick in 2021 than I was in 2020. Two weeks ago, when I last felt well enough to walk outside, I managed only 0.7km before the post-exertional malaise came on: brain fog, fatigue, pain in my neck and arm. (2/10)

I was formerly a (somewhat) competitive distance runner. It's not that I'm ignorant of how to push my body, nor the consequences. During my first marathon, I pushed through hypoglycaemia, black and white vision, before having a seizure just over the finish line. (3/10)

Post-exertional malaise is different, sustained, worse. And it comes just as surely from over-doing it at work, or in researching long covid, as from exercise. I used to have so much energy. Where is that man I was just last year? I miss him. (4/10)

The closest I've come to death was in a single-vehicle accident in the remote Pilbara. In the air, in the desert, upside-down, I remember a moment of stillness, of acceptance, of simple knowing that my agency, at that moment, was subordinate to basic physics and biology. (5/10)

The reason to try a new approach to things is because you have demonstrated proof that existing approaches are not working.

let's unpack:

1. what counts as proof?

2. what counts as failure?

3. not working for whom?

4. not working towards what end?

what counts as proof? and what counts as failure?

in order to answer this one needs to understand a thing well enough to know what success looks like and to know what failure modes exist.

A thing can fail by succumbing to a known failure mode, or failing in a new way. New failure modes commonly emerge from new contexts. Or they may be due to new developments in an existing context.

proof of failure means you have observed (rather than concluded via hearsay or via abstract reasoning) failure in a known mode or new mode. in order to obtain this proof, a relatively close distance or even insider perspective is usually necessary.

failure modes are specific to the thing being examined but there are some very common patterns. here's a couple of the most common patterns: