Early in my career, I was given the feedback "just be careful there aren't too many women at your meetup- we don't want it to be too homogeneous", and I think about the absurdity of that statement every fucking day.

Soon after, they had the audacity to ask me for a "positive referral" for their next position.

Being a woman in tech is exhausting.
Best part? The data said otherwise.

There were way more men than women attending these events- there were just more women than usual... ya know, the whole thing companies have been trying to solve for YEARS, I had accomplished on my own, and was scolded for. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I was then told "but they're all junior + bootcampers".

Also wrong. I went through hundreds of names, 1 by 1 for hours (shout-out to @Meetup for making this difficult at the time), and most of the women were senior engineers who attended university and the men? Most self taught.
So yeah, it's fucking exhausting to be a woman in tech.

Not only do you have to do your job, but you also have to PROVE that you're doing your job.

Check your biases- they have consequences on others.
I'm very lucky- I have a partner in tech more senior than me with industry experience that I could go to for advice.

But think about how many women and other marginalized folks who don't have that luxury? I would have left the industry for sure.

Your words have consequences.
There have been several moments in my time working as a woman in tech where a man has said 1 sentence he probably thought nothing of, that made me seriously question if I should leave tech all together.

Words have impact. Think before you speak, and call this shit out.
Not to mention the added layer of being asked whose daughter/wife you are at the conference you're keynoting at 🙃⚰️ or situations like this:
https://t.co/Kac6wUkY47
I will never understand why having boobs throws off so many men in this industry. Truly- it baffles me.
Being a woman in tech is so confusing. The messaging is like "WE NEED MORE OF YOU, BUT ALSO WHY ARE YOU HERE???"
https://t.co/qFaRGPIiWb
So anyway, if you're wondering why women in tech seem exhausted all the time- bookmark this thread. 😐
Wrote this article 3 years ago, but it's still pretty relevant to my experiences today 😐 https://t.co/1praGiYU09
A great point from @PoweredbyEdG 👇 if you learned something from this thread, please help educate others, and call out this behavior when you see it (ideally in the moment- not after the fact 💙 silence speaks volumes in these situations- been there).
https://t.co/18Rn1BGBFk

More from Life

TW: suicidal ideation.

At the darkest days of the abuse I was being subjected to I decided to attend a conference for women in Los Angeles. I convinced my mother in law to pay for it because I couldn’t afford it. @ChristineCaine was preaching. I was desperate...
1/


I wanted to die, I didn’t see a way out and I had tried everything. I imagined many ways to die daily. The most recurring one was throwing my car down a bridge I had to drive over every day. I never did it because my kids were in the car and I was afraid one of them would...

2/

survive or I’d kill someone on the way down.

Christine spoke about honoring your pastors even when they weren’t great, she spoke of us expecting too much of pastors and how wrong that was. She said God would use our testimony if we submitted to our pastors.

3/

She said “honor your pastors, God will honor you.” She said more about having disagreed with her pastors but she submitted and God honored her and now she’s blessed. How if they are faithfully serving God, we need to support them and not forfeit what God has for us.

4/

I felt my heart drop into my stomach. I got up and went to the bathroom because I couldn’t breath and I felt like I was going to faint if I didn’t scream. I now know I was having a panic attack. I sat on the toilet w/my head between my legs, breathed and wept..
5/

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IMPORTANCE, ADVANTAGES AND CHARACTERISTICS OF BHAGWAT PURAN

It was Ved Vyas who edited the eighteen thousand shlokas of Bhagwat. This book destroys all your sins. It has twelve parts which are like kalpvraksh.

In the first skandh, the importance of Vedvyas


and characters of Pandavas are described by the dialogues between Suutji and Shaunakji. Then there is the story of Parikshit.
Next there is a Brahm Narad dialogue describing the avtaar of Bhagwan. Then the characteristics of Puraan are mentioned.

It also discusses the evolution of universe.(
https://t.co/2aK1AZSC79 )

Next is the portrayal of Vidur and his dialogue with Maitreyji. Then there is a mention of Creation of universe by Brahma and the preachings of Sankhya by Kapil Muni.


In the next section we find the portrayal of Sati, Dhruv, Pruthu, and the story of ancient King, Bahirshi.
In the next section we find the character of King Priyavrat and his sons, different types of loks in this universe, and description of Narak. ( https://t.co/gmDTkLktKS )


In the sixth part we find the portrayal of Ajaamil ( https://t.co/LdVSSNspa2 ), Daksh and the birth of Marudgans( https://t.co/tecNidVckj )

In the seventh section we find the story of Prahlad and the description of Varnashram dharma. This section is based on karma vaasna.