TW: suicidal ideation.

At the darkest days of the abuse I was being subjected to I decided to attend a conference for women in Los Angeles. I convinced my mother in law to pay for it because I couldn’t afford it. @ChristineCaine was preaching. I was desperate...
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We live in a society that misunderstands boundaries and consent. Most people think the former is about just saying no, and the latter is about sex. And while that’s a part of it, they are about agency, autonomy, respect and interpersonal relationships.

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Unsolicited advice without consent is crossing a person’s boundaries. Even if the advice is good advice, even if the person giving the advice is a pastor or a parent, even if the advice is important. Most people aren’t talking about their life so that we may solve it.

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It is an honor to be trusted with someone’s life story*, with their thoughts and their challenges, with their struggles and their musings. But it is not an open invitation to try and solve their problems, control their behavior, tell them what to do.

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For a group of people that speak often of free will and claim to follow Jesus, Christians are some of the worst at boundaries and consent in general, and advice giving in particular. Think about how many sermons are not sharing spiritual truths, but just giving advice.

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Think about how much pastoral counseling is just advice giving. Think about the many books that tell you how to parent, how to be a good wife, how to be a good Christian, how to... and how much of it is general advice as though our lives were interchangeable?

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Christianity has been a weapon used by systems of oppression to call that which is harmful and abusive; good and God’s will. It has been a weapon to normalize hegemonic power, and keep people from questioning it or challenging it because “it comes from God.”

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Gender “norms,” harmful ideas about sexuality, social hierarchy, the construct of race, notions of nuclear family, toxic ideologies of work, bodies, finances, government, relationships, parenting, or criminal justice; are all rooted in Christianity and...

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backed up by verses of the Christian Bible taken out of context, to assert that this isn’t just normal, but what God desires. And who dares challenge God?

Christianity has allowed for people w/power to use the idea of god, and *his* “word,” to pass their ideas as God ideas.
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This is one of the reasons why people react so violently when we say the Bible is not the word of God, they can’t accept that everything they’ve been given as normal, good, ideal, God’s will... may just not be so.

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Their nervous systems tells them it is better to maintain the certainty of what is in their hands; even though it causes harm; than to give into the uncertainty of imagining a different world where equity is possible.

And then their ego gets involved, and admitting they’ve

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“Don’t leave the church because of the people who hurt you. Nobody is perfect, only God”

I’ll explain why this comment is not only not helpful at all, but also very harmful.

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The comment assumes we can’t tell the difference between people and toxic theology, it assumes our issues are with a few people who are outliers and misrepresented God, and we just seem to think that’s the totality of divinity. Which makes us appear unintelligent and petty.

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But, that’s not the case at all. I didn’t leave because a few people hurt me in the name of God, in fact I stayed long enough to get hurt again, and again, and again, and again. Because it’s not a few bad apples hurting people in the name of God what we are dealing with.

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Instead we are talking about systemic abuse due to toxic theology that is taught as righteousness.

Go to any white evangelical church today and conduct all the tests you must to ensure only those who are “good Christians,” remain. I guarantee you people will be harmed there.
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Not because people just hurt people, not because Christians have good intentions but sometimes make mistakes; instead because the harm is caused due to indoctrination into toxic theology and a belief that their social and theological framework is not only good,

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When I say that so long as nobody is being harmed people’s decisions, choices, and actions are always acceptable and should be respected; conservative Christians often ask me: but who decides what harm is?

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They do this to invalidate ‘harm,’ because if we can obscure the notion of harm, and they can decide that people going to hell is really the harm we should be worried about; then they are justified in crossing every possible boundary to keep people from hell.

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They are “helping,” “saving,” not really harming.

That’s one of the main ways in which the concept of sin is weaponized against people; because they decide what sin is, which is what will send us to hell (except not because all we have to do is repent and then we are safe).

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It doesn’t matter how we define harm, how much logic we apply to explaining that when people say they are being harmed we should believe them; or how much evidence we have of harm caused. It doesn’t matter that people are literally and metaphorically bleeding. It’s not harm.

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I mean they justified the genocide of Native people, the forceful taking of our land, the abduction of children with sayings like “kill the Indian, save the man.” By their logic they haven’t caused harm, they have “saved” us. There is no evidence of this, but they say so 🙃.

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I am going to say something very uncomfortable. Read before you react please.

Purity culture encourages pedophilia, a thread:

Purity culture encourages pedophilia.

Some of the standards of purity culture are innocence (pretty much ignorance about sex), submission (for women), virginity as the ultimate standard, and “modesty” (for women that is wearing clothes that don’t reveal their adult curves)*
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Purity culture makes the desirable standard a child. It makes child likeness desirable in regards to sexuality. It makes virginity, and innocence, and submission; what the male brain should want most in a partner. And your brain doesn’t rewire just because you get married.
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This doesn’t mean every man raised in purity culture is a pedophile, that’s not what I am saying. What I am saying is that purity culture wires the brain of men to desire child likeness, which encourages pedophilia. After all desire and objectification happen in our brain.

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Now if you are a pedophile who wants to act on those desires, purity culture does a lot of the grooming for you. Purity culture discourages comprehensive sex education leaving children without the ability to know what’s appropriate and what’s not.

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The most interesting people defy categorization

Live an interesting enough life, and you’ll never be easy to describe

THE TRUTH BEHIND WHY ONLY 2% OF PEOPLE SUCCEED AND 98% OF PEOPLE FAIL

(Plus a 30 minute exercise to get you into the top 2%)

//Thread//

Quick PSA: If you get value from this thread, please share some Knowledge Karma and retweet the first tweet 👆

Thank you.

Now let's upgrade your life..

I'll start by addressing the elephant in the room.

This is not another thread about "positive thinking" and us ing affirmations to get what you want.

You will need to take action for this to work.

If you are willing to do that

Read on 👇

Psychological Fact #1 : Reality = What you experience in your mind.

Reality is not objective.

This is why a man with a million dollars can say he's "depressed"

While a man with nothing in his pocket can say he's "happy"

and they can both be right at the same time.

A plastic surgeon noticed a pattern in his patients.

Even though a patient underwent transformative surgery and OBJECTIVELY looked more beautiful

Many came out of surgery and still saw an ugly person in the mirror.

How is this possible?

It all boils down to self belief.

I have a story to tell...

I won't name the person but it's related to someone I know digitally

I've been following him for a year or more

He owns a digital marketing agency and a sells some courses

He had tremendous growth rate on his social media

Everything was going good but today he's shutting down his agency

WHY?

Heavy expenses!

Started providing digital marketing services but

Instantly started running massive number of ad campaigns on his social media accounts

+

Used to pay around Rs 5-10 lakhs per month = rent in a posh area + employees

Result?

Shutting down today

He has a strong personal brand but at the cost of massive investments!

Be it on Ads or PR or some branding

How to Build Wealth

10-Step Formula to Riches

// Thread //

1. Live like an Undercover Millionaire

Income ≠ Wealth

How to live like an undercover millionaire:

- Spend less than you earn
- Avoid buying fancy clothes
- Avoid buying new & fancy cars

To feel rich, count the things in your life that money can't buy.

2. Always Look Ahead

To build a strong financial future, break down your goals into 3 categories:

- Short term goals (1 to 5 years)
- Mid term goals (5 to 10 years)
- Long term goals (10+ years)

Understand your goals and build a plan of action.

Make your goals a reality.

3. Become the Household CFO

Assign a purpose to every dollar.

How the wealthy budget:

- 529 plans
- Business accounts
- Retirement accounts
- Emergency savings fund
- Joint / Individual accounts

Want to budget stress free?

Automate the process.

4. Pay Yourself First

You might catch the famous Warren Buffet mentioning this phrase during his investment talks.

This means:

- You save/invest
- You pay your bills
- You spend the money that’s leftover

Save and invest first, before you spend money.

It's that easy.