All relationship advice that focuses on “doing stuff for each other” is superficial and is unlikely to yield a lasting result. Satisfying each other’s material desire and playing into tropes seen on tv and movies just makes bad relationships feel bearable.

Only when the two people are joined on the basis of the spirit can true understanding of the other be achieved. Genuine compassion between lovers only happens when the fulfillment of material and mental expectations planted in us by the world become secondary to our devotion.
Worldly relationships are just that, worldly. They function only to temporarily relieve the general physical discomforts of existence.

A relationship based on the spirit is one that honours the flesh but is not of it.
When we are willing to put aside our demands of our husbands and wives to soothe attachments or urges, we can begin to build a union based on service and duty to one another. Wherein all needs are still met but the meeting of those needs are no longer the point of being together.
You do things for each other because you aren’t functioning as two separate people with separate needs. When spirits join taking care of one another is synonymous with taking care of oneself.

My happiness is not isolated from my husbands happiness and vice versa.
Changing the way we think about our roles in marriage can be the difference in begrudgingly and resentfully keeping score of who’s done what for who lately, and a harmonious flow, give and take, and effortless unfolding of two lives ever becoming more one.

More from Life

"I lied about my basic beliefs in order to keep a prestigious job. Now that it will be zero-cost to me, I have a few things to say."


We know that elite institutions like the one Flier was in (partial) charge of rely on irrelevant status markers like private school education, whiteness, legacy, and ability to charm an old white guy at an interview.

Harvard's discriminatory policies are becoming increasingly well known, across the political spectrum (see, e.g., the recent lawsuit on discrimination against East Asian applications.)

It's refreshing to hear a senior administrator admits to personally opposing policies that attempt to remedy these basic flaws. These are flaws that harm his institution's ability to do cutting-edge research and to serve the public.

Harvard is being eclipsed by institutions that have different ideas about how to run a 21st Century institution. Stanford, for one; the UC system; the "public Ivys".
It doesn't happen because you want it to happen.

It doesn't happen because you made it happen.

It happens because you allow it to happen.

https://t.co/j5hPyw9m9m

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