All relationship advice that focuses on “doing stuff for each other” is superficial and is unlikely to yield a lasting result. Satisfying each other’s material desire and playing into tropes seen on tv and movies just makes bad relationships feel bearable.

Only when the two people are joined on the basis of the spirit can true understanding of the other be achieved. Genuine compassion between lovers only happens when the fulfillment of material and mental expectations planted in us by the world become secondary to our devotion.
Worldly relationships are just that, worldly. They function only to temporarily relieve the general physical discomforts of existence.

A relationship based on the spirit is one that honours the flesh but is not of it.
When we are willing to put aside our demands of our husbands and wives to soothe attachments or urges, we can begin to build a union based on service and duty to one another. Wherein all needs are still met but the meeting of those needs are no longer the point of being together.
You do things for each other because you aren’t functioning as two separate people with separate needs. When spirits join taking care of one another is synonymous with taking care of oneself.

My happiness is not isolated from my husbands happiness and vice versa.
Changing the way we think about our roles in marriage can be the difference in begrudgingly and resentfully keeping score of who’s done what for who lately, and a harmonious flow, give and take, and effortless unfolding of two lives ever becoming more one.

More from Life

1/ Here’s a list of conversational frameworks I’ve picked up that have been helpful.

Please add your own.

2/ The Magic Question: "What would need to be true for you


3/ On evaluating where someone’s head is at regarding a topic they are being wishy-washy about or delaying.

“Gun to the head—what would you decide now?”

“Fast forward 6 months after your sabbatical--how would you decide: what criteria is most important to you?”

4/ Other Q’s re: decisions:

“Putting aside a list of pros/cons, what’s the *one* reason you’re doing this?” “Why is that the most important reason?”

“What’s end-game here?”

“What does success look like in a world where you pick that path?”

5/ When listening, after empathizing, and wanting to help them make their own decisions without imposing your world view:

“What would the best version of yourself do”?

You May Also Like

**Thread on Bravery of Sikhs**
(I am forced to do this due to continuous hounding of Sikh Extremists since yesterday)

Rani Jindan Kaur, wife of Maharaja Ranjit Singh had illegitimate relations with Lal Singh (PM of Ranjit Singh). Along with Lal Singh, she attacked Jammu, burnt - https://t.co/EfjAq59AyI


Hindu villages of Jasrota, caused rebellion in Jammu, attacked Kishtwar.

Ancestors of Raja Ranjit Singh, The Sansi Tribe used to give daughters as concubines to Jahangir.


The Ludhiana Political Agency (Later NW Fronties Prov) was formed by less than 4000 British soldiers who advanced from Delhi and reached Ludhiana, receiving submissions of all sikh chiefs along the way. The submission of the troops of Raja of Lahore (Ranjit Singh) at Ambala.

Dabistan a contemporary book on Sikh History tells us that Guru Hargobind broke Naina devi Idol Same source describes Guru Hargobind serving a eunuch
YarKhan. (ref was proudly shared by a sikh on twitter)
Gobind Singh followed Bahadur Shah to Deccan to fight for him.


In Zafarnama, Guru Gobind Singh states that the reason he was in conflict with the Hill Rajas was that while they were worshiping idols, while he was an idol-breaker.

And idiot Hindus place him along Maharana, Prithviraj and Shivaji as saviours of Dharma.