Marie reached out to me today after 2 years, to give me the closure I never got. We talked for a while about our lost baby - lost love. There comes a time in a man's life when you have to look at yourself in the mirror & say, "I need help". I'll get help. I will be a better man.

How to become a SUCCESSFUL academic: a guide 1/n

How do I know how to become a successful academic? I don't, but I have received plenty of advice. As a good academic, I will just summarize what I have learned from listening

1) Be the ultimate collaborator but also don't be

Say yes to as many collaborations as physically possible: co-produce papers, LEARN, co-write grants, DISCUSS, it is all about synergy. But also, collaborations slow you down, have your own ideas! Just say no to collaborations

2) Be the methods ninja but also don't be

Science is only as good as its weakest link: don't be satisfied by applying the default analyses in the field. But also, don't let perfect be the enemy of the good and don't confuse reviewers. Just apply the default analyses in the field

3) Be the superstar teacher but also don't be

Professor means teacher, it is LITERALLY in the name. Being a good professor means being a superstar teacher. But also, focus on the science and minimize the hours of teaching, don't try to become a superstar teacher

https://t.co/Cotah6eeRa

[🔞 hopekook, rimming] happy vday if you celebrate it, last night i fell asleep thinking about a horny hopekook date where they set aside time to cuddle and watch something soothing and mindless. jk chooses a nature documentary, more for background ambiance than anything else.

they start out with hobi laying crosswise on the couch, and jk crawls between his legs, rests his head on hobi's sternum. he likes to cuddle like that because he can hear hobi's heartbeat. also hobi will usually skritch his scalp when they're in this position.

he's doing that now, running his fingers from jk's forehead to the nape of his neck, but then he scoops along jk's ear instead. fingertips smoothing along the shell curve and then gently tugging on his earlobe. he keeps doing it, repetitive. the apartment is warm.

and quiet, too, except for the doc in the bg and the soft sounds of their breathing. hobi's fingertips keep tugging easily, gently on his ear lobe and all of a sudden jk realizes he's getting hard. he doesn't pay it much mind, one or both of them often do when they cuddle, even

if it's just a cuddle session & not anything further. but then hobi moves his leg, feels it, laughs softly, & moves his leg again - this time, deliberately. jk smiles, rubbing his mouth against hobi's sweatshirt. he rolls his hips, real slow like, and feels hobi's dick, too.

I have now been sick with #longcovid for almost a year—below, some reflections on my convalescence. (1/10)

While remaining mostly functional, in many ways, I'm more sick in 2021 than I was in 2020. Two weeks ago, when I last felt well enough to walk outside, I managed only 0.7km before the post-exertional malaise came on: brain fog, fatigue, pain in my neck and arm. (2/10)

I was formerly a (somewhat) competitive distance runner. It's not that I'm ignorant of how to push my body, nor the consequences. During my first marathon, I pushed through hypoglycaemia, black and white vision, before having a seizure just over the finish line. (3/10)

Post-exertional malaise is different, sustained, worse. And it comes just as surely from over-doing it at work, or in researching long covid, as from exercise. I used to have so much energy. Where is that man I was just last year? I miss him. (4/10)

The closest I've come to death was in a single-vehicle accident in the remote Pilbara. In the air, in the desert, upside-down, I remember a moment of stillness, of acceptance, of simple knowing that my agency, at that moment, was subordinate to basic physics and biology. (5/10)

I found myself unable to discuss or see people in a negative light
It was a strange place to be
A whole new realm that isolated me in some way
When I am among people and the topic goes in the direction of Mr. So and So did this evil thing to me or Mrs. Such and such said the

following things about me
I find my skin crawling and my defences up
I don't do this naturally, it just is.
When I am with my team and we're discussing stuff, I dodge all the unnecessary stuff
I don't want to know who is doing that bad thing or who is not performing up to par

I find it nauseating to say the least
Talking ill of people even when it ought to be discussed
A brother caught covid from his girlfriend
They were not married and ought not to be together that way
Someone pointed my attention to it and I felt somehow
Like the person wanted to

force-feed me poison
The person meant well and I should know what is going on but I really couldn't bear the heaviness of such talks
I understand that it is normal for people to share such talks and bond over it
I once worked as a personal assistant to a pastor who will pick a

person and talk about the person with his wife all the way from Lagos to Ibadan and will still chew the person like a bone all the way from Ibadan back to Lagos
He will keep digging out faults and misdeeds like a dog unearthing buried bones
It was a crazy habit I could barely