This is what you need to do....
a. Appear on my TimeLine. make sure you are gamer and you are using an anon Twitter account with an avatar that is pretty wet.
2.
b. Than be as rude to me as you can possibly muster.
And I mean really, really rude...
So you need to use some reallu, really nasty put downs.
I will give you some examples...
3.
These are techniques worth trying...
i/ use misogynistic slurs. These must allude to sex. So use sexual references and put downs.
ii/ Move onto addressing my age. You know the sort of thing...mention my looks and how I'm not very attractive etc.
4.
And then build up to the third and most revolting cr*p you can think of...
iii/ Target mental health. So call me 'crazy,' unhinged' etc.
Those three techniques should be adequate.
But this is race to the bottom so...it may not quite be enough.
5.
Once you have done this and I am fully upset and feeling threatened.
Just wait.
This may take a few minutes.
6.
Sure enough within 10 mins, as long as it's not the night in the USA, you will attract the attention of #CreateUnknown #JohnSwan #MatthewTabor #LucyLieber and all those with huge clout(s).
7.
They will have been monitoring my timeline so are sure to notice that you have been insulting me, trying to demean me and generally making me feel threatened and harassed.
Now...this next part needs to be well managed...
8.
Once they notice you and how you have attacked me, you need to milk this situation for all it is worth.
You must listen to all the things they say about me, especially those said by Mrs Lieber.
You MUST agree with her that I'm the most awful person in the ENTIRE universe.
9.
Listen carefully..
This will take a few days.
Keep tweeting with Tabor, Swan and Mrs L. And lay the adoration on very thick.
You know what I mean...like laddle it on with a palette knife.
10.
You are now getting much closer to ENORMOUS #clout.
They will love you...keep mentioning me and make it really nasty.
This will ensure that you are fully onside with their CUC (Create Unknown Cult)
11.
By this point you will be inside the perimeter fence of the CreateUnknown and could be about to get access to the Mighty Kevin.
Yep...Mr Vsauce2 himself.
By this point you are so close to #clout
Hope. Pray. Wish upon a Star.
I wish you luck with securing a follow back.
12.
Someone who has managed this process very well in the past couple of weeks is the adorable CraigBeckett52.
He did a fine job of it. Sucking up for England for all it's worth.
And he managed it...he got in...he got that essential follow back and access to big #clout
13
*Rejoiner*
Beckett will however be receiving my invoice.
I think it only fair I get commission for enabling his success in his hunt for big #clout
#Cloutchasing is an art form and skill that not everyone can achieve. Especially if they have any integrity whatsover.
14/End.