BC CULTURE
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How to help the #autistic people in your life get through Christmas - a practical thread of advice.

Please read and share!

(This is based on my own experiences of being autistic)

#autism #christmas

 1. Give #autistic people an easy escape route they know they can take without judgement - knowing you can dash off to recharge without being questioned can help so much!
2. Don't play Christmas music really loudly around the house. No one needs that anyway but if you must, make it not too intrusive as it can be difficult for #autistic people to handle. Christmas music is *so* 'busy'!
3. Don't expect clear and unambiguous response to Christmas presents when opened. Many #autistic people struggle to show the appropriate emotional reaction, and are also terrified of making you feel bad. We show appreciation in our own way.
4. Don't forget #autistic friends and relatives may not be as excited about meeting up with family members as you are. There is likely a lot of anxiety there, especially this year. Be mindful of this and don't force it.
5. Make sure at least one room is quiet and non-decorated as a kind of cool-off room from all the noise, social stuff and colour of Christmas. All that can be an #autistic person's sensory nightmare.
6. Let your #autistic kids (and adults) play with their new stuff as soon as possible. They may have been obsessing over it for months and telling them they can't open their lego til after dinner is bloody cruel...
7. Don't make social interactions, like games, singalongs or whatever, compulsory for your #autistic friends. We may well join in but being compelled to is really unpleasant and can cause meltdown.
8. If a meltdown does occur, and sadly it is pretty likely as Christmas is bloody intense, let #autistic folks escape without fuss or comment. Do not criticise them fof their meltdown. Do be kind and supportive on their return.
9. Let your #autistic friends and relatives bring their favourite new little toy to the dinner table with them, to fiddle with and to help ground them. Honestly, this helps so so much. I like to have a LEGO minifigure.
10. Talk to your #autistic friends and relatives about their big interests, especially if their gifts are linked to them. I expect to tslk to The Child about Pokemon a *lot* on Friday.
11. If you're in a lockdown area and you're not seeing extended family, allow the #autistic one in you'd life to make the most of this opportunity and do not make them feel bad for enjoying the relative lack of stress.
12. Do ask #autistic friends and relatives to help with dinner, but with clear, unambiguous instructions. Honestly - make it really clear what we should do - don't leave it to us to do on our initiative...
13. If you have #autistic relatives alone at Christmas, message them. Only ring them if they're OK with phone calls. But do say hello!
14. Don't force your #autistic friends and relatives to wear strange things at Christmas, like thick woolly jumpers or paper crowns. Nothing makes me more unhappy than wearing an ill-fitting paper crown that my scalp will not recognise as a friend. Hate them.
15. Don't make an #autistic or #ADHD person sit through a film 'just because' it's Christmas. please.
16. DO NOT moan at me on this thread that #autistic people just want excuses to not do stuff. That's a cruel and intensely mean spirited take.
17. Make sure #autistic friends and relatives know where all your amenities are. Nothing is worse than visiting a house snd being too scared to find the toilet,or not knowing where the towels are.
18. Recognise that not all of these tips will be applicable as there's a lot of variety in the autistic population!
If you appreciate my stuff and advocacy, such as it is, I really do appreciate a bit of financial support, especially these days. Thank you

https://t.co/qonxXX3C91
19. Many #autistic people don't actually like surprises - sometimes the best bet is to be open about what you're doing/gifting.
20. You may have to let an #autistic friend or relative follow their normal routine on Christmas day, even if it doesn't fit perfectly with your expectation if what Christmas day should be like. Don't be stubborn.
21. If you have a 'running order' of the day, share it with your #autistic guests - they will really appreciate the heads up. Give warning of changes to new activities.
22. Enforced fun of any kind is pretty grim but in my experience #autistic folk are very resistant to it. Avoid.
23. Die Hard is a Christmas movie.
24. And so is Iron Man 3 (in fact its the only thing that film has going for it).
25. Don't make #autistic people feel bad if they've forgotten to wrap a present or something like that. Executive dysfunction is a big deal!
26. #autistic people may find photographs difficult, as we believe they steal our souls. Only joking, we autistic folk don't have souls.

But seriously, the forces jollity or need to smile if you're flat-affect can be very unpleasant.
27. If an #autistic person makes an ill advised joke over Christmas Dinner, take it in good faith - don't assume they're trying to offend. See above tweet.
28. Don't force an #autistic friend or relative to eat unfamiliar food 'just because its Christmas'.

ie Christmas pudding, nuts, Stilton, etc

More from Pete 'stay' Wharmby 'the fireplace'

Pete Wharmby
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@commaficionado
Autistic behaviours that are generally discriminated against, despite being harmless and just how we are.

A thread🧵

1. Stimming - repetitive physical movement to help regulate our stress levels. They feel nice and are really helpful but people seem to hate to see it. #autism

2. No eye contact. We generally find this too intimate and intense, and will avoid. It can even cause pain if forced. But people don't trust us even though we inform them we're autistic. #autism

3. Sitting in 'odd' positions. We're often very bendable - remember Ehlers-Danlos syndrome is a common comorbidity - and loads of feel more comfortable in slightly contorted positions. People always comment 'you can't be comfy like that'.

Yes. Yes I can. #autism

4. Stammering when excited. We can get so passionate about some subjects that we struggle to get the words out as they all get caught in the annoying bottleneck of actually having to leave our mouths. But it irritates people, makes them assume we're somehow lesser. #autism
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Pete Wharmby
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@commaficionado
30 things you can do that might help #autistic people in your lives.

A thread. Please read and share widely, and add to it as you see fit.

#autism #autistic

1. Let us decompress in quiet areas when we need to. Our desire to be alone is not judgement on you, it's simple self preservation. #autism

2. If you need us to do something, give us very clear, unambiguous instruction. Don't feel like you're being rude doing this, but don't sound irritated or patronising! #autism

3. Do not expect us to react to things in a way you would expect. That way lies disappointment. We often show our emotions in very different ways to what you might expect. #autism

4. Don't assume we aren't capable of thought and feeling if we're non-verbal. Don't assume we're incapable of communicating in other ways either. #autism
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Pete 'stay' Wharmby 'the fireplace'
Pete 'stay' Wharmby 't...
@commaficionado
Why do #autistic students get excluded so frequently from school?

Some thoughts, based on my own experiences. If we have an understanding of the 'why', it's easier to address the results.

Please read and share! /1

Autistic students often find themselves being punished more than average at school. Frequently this can escalate to temporary exclusion and similar 'punishments'. Are autistic students generally just more naughty? Of course not. So what's the deal? /2

Everything about the fundamentals of a school day is designed around neurotypical children. Most school day elements are also very old, and have been around since long before people became more 'autism aware'. /3

What we see as the core experience of doing subjects for around an hour, before moving to the next subject, between the ages of 5 and 18 dates back *decades*. So where do autistic students fit in? /4

Well, they don't. Students with an autistic or ADHD neurotype quite simply do not slot into this structure. The only way they can is by essentially squashing their own needs in order to fit in with the majority. If they can't do this? That's where the 'punishments' come in. /5
SCHOOL
Pete Wharmby
Pete Wharmby
@commaficionado
Once again I'm reminded that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. The recent push by a large number of autistic people to 'own' their diagnosis and try to raise acceptance and dispel harmful myths has kicked up a minority of autistic people to fight against this.

This may seem bizarre - who fights against improved acceptance? - but actually has clear roots in the ongoing culture war the West seems engaged in. The identity positive autistic movement, of which I am a part, is viewed by some as another manifestation of 'wokeness'.

This is the right-wing definition of 'wokeness', of course - ie a modern equivalent of the pejorative take on political correctness, but it's definitely at the core of this 'neurorealist' movement - the idea the autistic community is being hijacked by 'woke lefties'.

They believe that the push for acceptance of neurodiversity and rejection of the medicalisation of autism is misguided and drawing attention away from those autistic people who, in their view, need more help and intervention.

The trouble is, this view is pretty much baseless. Firstly, there is little evidence that autistic advocates who push for acceptance are in any way harming autistic people who require more help and support. Second, the view effectively silences those of us who are able to share.
HEALTH
Pete Wharmby
Pete Wharmby
@commaficionado
Things You Need to Know About Autism - a thread for sharing.

I try to raise awareness, understanding and acceptance of #autistic people. Have a read and hopefully it will help.

#thread #autism

1. Autism has always existed, as far as we can tell. Any increase in the number of autistic people is due to better diagnosis and growing population. There are historic figures who display many autistic traits, such as Isaac Newton. #autism

2. Autism is not an illness or disease. It cannot be caught, nor does it appear to spontaneously happen. You are born autistic and you will die autistic - it is not 'curable'. #autism

3. Autistic people do not lack empathy, nor are we emotionless robots. We often struggle to communicate emotion, and we can have alexithymia, making identification of emotions hard, though. #autism

4. Autism affects the entire demographic - doesn't matter your gender, sexuality, age, class, skin colour, culture. Autism is a human condition. #autism
AUTISM

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