21 Questions To Ask YOURSELF Before Entering A Relationship: A Thread

1. Am I emotionally available for a relationship?
2. Am I aware of my triggers/how they show up in my relationships?
3. Do I really like this person?
4. Am I familiar or comfortable with this person? There’s a difference
5. Do I have to perform or alter myself to be loved by them?
6. Do our core values and beliefs align?
7. Am I attracted to their heart, values and character?
8. Am I willing to honor our differences?
9. Am I willing to accept their flaws?
10. Do I like who I am with this person?
11. Do I want to be like this person?
12. Do they challenge me to grow?
13. Does this person respect me?
14. Do they respect my boundaries?
15. Are they an active listener?
16. Do they know how to emotionally regulate during conflict?
17. Can they handle constructive criticism?
18. What is their relationship like with their family and friends? Would I be okay if they treated me the same way?
19. Are they self aware? Do they have a healthy sense of self/emotional maturity?
20. Can I trust this person with my heart?
21. Can we have fun together?

Bonus Question: What limiting beliefs are holding me back from authentically connecting?

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Great article from @AsheSchow. I lived thru the 'Satanic Panic' of the 1980's/early 1990's asking myself "Has eveyrbody lost their GODDAMN MINDS?!"


The 3 big things that made the 1980's/early 1990's surreal for me.

1) Satanic Panic - satanism in the day cares ahhhh!

2) "Repressed memory" syndrome

3) Facilitated Communication [FC]

All 3 led to massive abuse.

"Therapists" -and I use the term to describe these quacks loosely - would hypnotize people & convince they they were 'reliving' past memories of Mom & Dad killing babies in Satanic rituals in the basement while they were growing up.

Other 'therapists' would badger kids until they invented stories about watching alligators eat babies dropped into a lake from a hot air balloon. Kids would deny anything happened for hours until the therapist 'broke through' and 'found' the 'truth'.

FC was a movement that started with the claim severely handicapped individuals were able to 'type' legible sentences & communicate if a 'helper' guided their hands over a keyboard.

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1/“What would need to be true for you to….X”

Why is this the most powerful question you can ask when attempting to reach an agreement with another human being or organization?

A thread, co-written by @deanmbrody:


2/ First, “X” could be lots of things. Examples: What would need to be true for you to

- “Feel it's in our best interest for me to be CMO"
- “Feel that we’re in a good place as a company”
- “Feel that we’re on the same page”
- “Feel that we both got what we wanted from this deal

3/ Normally, we aren’t that direct. Example from startup/VC land:

Founders leave VC meetings thinking that every VC will invest, but they rarely do.

Worse over, the founders don’t know what they need to do in order to be fundable.

4/ So why should you ask the magic Q?

To get clarity.

You want to know where you stand, and what it takes to get what you want in a way that also gets them what they want.

It also holds them (mentally) accountable once the thing they need becomes true.

5/ Staying in the context of soliciting investors, the question is “what would need to be true for you to want to invest (or partner with us on this journey, etc)?”

Multiple responses to this question are likely to deliver a positive result.