so as requested im making a thread on what it was like for me being under SEND and my experiences of growing up as someones who was obviously struggling and school still failed to pick up i was autistic - ( TW - slight mention of self harming and eating issues ) - a thread 1/

i started receiving SEND support when i was 4, at the time i was undiagnosed selective mute, autistic, ADHD, dyscalculia and dysgraphia but had picked up on my dyslexia. when i was first under SEND they never discussed with me what that meant or why i was taken out of 2/
class constantly, they didn't even inform my parents for 2 years that i was struggling. i was put in a group at primary school for children who required extra support, so i received help for social skills, maths and english. If it wasn't already bad enough feeling different 3/
i was placed on the 'special table' with a teaching assistant for years and was still persistently taken out of class, by this point i was already feeling alone and completely singled out from my peers. i felt stupid and even when i tried my hardest it was never good enough 4/
this continued until i moved primary school when i was no longer made to sit at a 'special table' but was still taken out class constantly without being told why, at this age people started asking questions as to why i was taken out often too which being selectively mute 5/
created a lot of anxiety. when i started secondary school my needs greatly increased. i was having daily meltdowns, i stopped eating completely, hurting others, ripping my hair out and banging my head against my desk and just about any wall. school increased my needs and i 6/
went to CAMHS, i spent more time in meetings and the teachers offices doing my school work there, or sometimes was placed on a table outside my classroom. CAMHS decided to take me out of school for a year whilst i was trying to improve my mental state 7/
after that for my rest of time at school i had a revised timetable (i only went in to school for english and maths). i never felt good enough and wondered why i wasn't like everyone my age, why i was so behind and why even though i tried my hardest 8/
my grades were still lower than everyone else. i spent most of my time in class trying to deal with my sensory issues and would constantly run out class and even school at times when i became overloaded, i just went walking around the fields near my school for hours 9/
by the time i was 14 i was in isolation, detentions or expelled most of the time and for my own mental well-being took the option to be homeschooled for the last years of school. i was always bullied by others for years to the point the police had 10/
to get involved for my own safety. i still now am struggling, i've had to drop out of college because in England it takes so long to get an EHCP (basically a plan for people who require extra support) i've now had to just leave. my whole education has been ruined 11/
and not until i was 16 was it picked up that im autistic. i still now have an incredibly low self esteem from being treated so differently and being seperated from my peers. 12/12

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