Two years ago next week my whole world crumbled & I’m feeling so many things about it. Mostly, I’m just grateful I’m still alive & I’m doing things I love. But I’m also grieving & I want to share this because I know I’m not alone in going through scary stuff & there is hope.

I experienced some of the most traumatic events of my life in Feb 2019, when leadership of the church I was a part of decided after nearly a year they were not ok with my decision to speak up about abuse I had suffered during my time there.
The leader who assaulted & abused me was no longer there, & up until this point I had believed platitudes that the rest of the team cared about what had happened. But I never saw any actual reform or self-reflection about the fact that this happened to an 18 year old intern.
The trauma from being assaulted was obvious & expected. But the trauma that came from the institutional betrayal was the deepest cut. Leaders who had prayed with me sat in front of me & laughed as I cried over words they had said about me behind my back. I was devastated.
Most of my friendships existed within that institution, & when this betrayal happened those friendships went silent. Overnight, I lost my entire support system, over lies said about me that I wouldn’t have access to read until I got a lawyer & they had to turn them over.
I left that town a few days later with a half-packed bag & my dog, & never went back. Friends & family packed up my house & moved my things into storage. I resigned a job I loved & then laid in bed eating Xanax like candy for weeks. I missed my best friend’s wedding.
It took about two weeks for me to even walk outside. This was trauma & loss compounded on trauma & loss, & I legitimately didn’t think I would survive.
But I did survive. It has not been roses since, there’s been more pain & loss, but there has also been gain & I’m learning to hold those things at the same time. I have been able to slowly build a life & community of people who know & love me & whom I trust. That is miraculous.
So I am just sharing this as a bit of honesty that this time of year is kind of rough for me. But also, that we can survive unimaginable things. If you’ve been hurt by people you trusted, I know that pain & I am sending you my love, & my door is always open. ❤️
P.S. I often worry about talking about this on here these days, because people (esp women) who talk about these experiences are often labeled vindictive, angry, grudge-holders, etc. Of course I’m angry, & these events do affect me still. PTSD is a real feature of my life. Yet...
I am living. It is possible, necessary even, to acknowledge the pain we have suffered and to keep living. We must do both, & shaming people for doing both is one toxic way our culture enables abusers and institutions. So I will tell the truth of my experience AND keep living. ❤️
Let me also add: another take-home lesson for everyone else here is that if you’re a part of any institution (we all are) where you have knowledge of abuse/assault/harassment of any kind, it is your duty to speak up about it. Loyalty to institutions is how these things recur.
We must have loyalty to the truth, and to vulnerable people, above that of institutions and people with power. That is a decision we all must make in our respective circles. Please to that.

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The UN just voted to condemn Israel 9 times, and the rest of the world 0.

View the resolutions and voting results here:

The resolution titled "The occupied Syrian Golan," which condemns Israel for "repressive measures" against Syrian citizens in the Golan Heights, was adopted by a vote of 151 - 2 - 14.

Israel and the U.S. voted 'No'
https://t.co/HoO7oz0dwr


The resolution titled "Israeli practices affecting the human rights of the Palestinian people..." was adopted by a vote of 153 - 6 - 9.

Australia, Canada, Israel, Marshall Islands, Micronesia, and the U.S. voted 'No' https://t.co/1Ntpi7Vqab


The resolution titled "Israeli settlements in the Occupied Palestinian Territory, including East Jerusalem, and the occupied Syrian Golan" was adopted by a vote of 153 – 5 – 10.

Canada, Israel, Marshall Islands, Micronesia, and the U.S. voted 'No'
https://t.co/REumYgyRuF


The resolution titled "Applicability of the Geneva Convention... to the
Occupied Palestinian Territory..." was adopted by a vote of 154 - 5 - 8.

Canada, Israel, Marshall Islands, Micronesia, and the U.S. voted 'No'
https://t.co/xDAeS9K1kW
@danielashby @AdamWJT @Greens4HS2 @TheGreenParty @GarethDennis @XRebellionUK @Hs2RebelRebel @HS2ltd I'll bite. Let's try to keep it factual. There's a reasonable basis to some aspects of this question, that it might be possible to agree on. Then there are other, more variable, elements which depend on external factors such as transport and energy policy. /1

@AdamWJT @Greens4HS2 @TheGreenParty @GarethDennis @XRebellionUK @Hs2RebelRebel @HS2ltd First up, we know reasonably well how much energy it takes to propel a high-speed train along the HS2 route. We can translate that into effective CO2 generated by making some assumptions about how green the electricity grid is. /2

@AdamWJT @Greens4HS2 @TheGreenParty @GarethDennis @XRebellionUK @Hs2RebelRebel @HS2ltd Secondly, we have a reasonable grasp of how much CO2 is going to be generated by building HS2 - there are standard methods of working this out, based on the amount of steel, concrete, earthmoving, machine-fuelling etc required. /3

@AdamWJT @Greens4HS2 @TheGreenParty @GarethDennis @XRebellionUK @Hs2RebelRebel @HS2ltd Thirdly, we can estimate how much CO2 is generated by cutting down trees, and how much is captured by planting new trees. We can also estimate how much CO2 is needed to keep the railway running and generated by maintaining the track /4

@AdamWJT @Greens4HS2 @TheGreenParty @GarethDennis @XRebellionUK @Hs2RebelRebel @HS2ltd We know how much CO2 is saved by moving goods by freight train on the lines freed up by moving the express trains on to HS2, rather than by truck. /5
@Suman68082748 @thetwinkwolff @x_karran_x @Sunil9130 Lets stop the criticism guys. The lad is good. Losses happen. Losses to unranked players happen too. As do wins vs top 10ers. Let's accept both. Remember Sumit and the likes of him are the best we have. See the bigger picture please.

@thetwinkwolff @x_karran_x @Sunil9130 When the Europeans or South Americans were getting quality practice and tourneys week in week out at reasonable costs, our kids were playing on dung courts or learning outdated serve and volley on grass. Appreciate the fact that the last 10 years have been a hell lot better than

@thetwinkwolff @x_karran_x @Sunil9130 the 10 before that. Real change can't come in a day or even in 10 years. So let's grit our teeth and bide our time till we have an organic self sustaining system in place.

@siyer30 @SportaSmile @Cric_Writer @RomilShukla @amanthejourno

@thetwinkwolff @x_karran_x @Sunil9130 @siyer30 @SportaSmile @Cric_Writer @RomilShukla @amanthejourno Tennis is my favourite sport in the universe. Has always been. Will always be. I was in love with Steffi and Pete a lot before I fell for Sachin. And while I would love every toddler in my family to play sports professionally, I won't encourage them to pursue my favourite sport.

@thetwinkwolff @x_karran_x @Sunil9130 @siyer30 @SportaSmile @Cric_Writer @RomilShukla @amanthejourno It will be career suicide. In other sports, I can actually plan for my ward to be the next Lin Dan or the next Tiger Woods or the next Schumacher even from a base in India. With tennis, in 2020 I can't do that realistically. Just doesn't adds up. Even for total freaks of nature.

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