To know who your abusers/enemies are, and who your allies are; DO NOT avoid conflict, for it is in conflict where you see who is who.
Strong men always define, and always protect their boundaries, when others cross them.
Fail at this, and people WILL exploit you.
When in conflict, allies will hear reason & evidence, honor Truth, and negotiate for a relationship that benefits you both.
Abusers will obfuscate Truth, and will try to manipulate you into abandoning your boundaries by invoking in you, feelings of fear, obligation, or guilt.
Objective Truth, and it's mutual acceptance, is what holds together a negotiated, functional, mutually beneficial relationship.
Abusers are interested in exploitation, NOT functional, mutually beneficial relationships.
Thus, the abuser sees Truth as an obstacle -- an enemy.
Abusers are never interested in Truth when they are abusing/exploiting you.
They will ALWAYS obfuscate the Truth when you defend your boundaries, so as to take more from you than they give you.
Abusers treat the Truth as their enemy.
Watch for this, and note who they are.
When you spot one who seeks to exploit/abuse you, you must adapt your expectations and behavior.
They are not interested in Truth. They're not interested in negotiating with your reason & evidence. It will have no effect on the abuser.
Debate and negotiation are finished.
You do not debate or negotiate with an abuser.
They don't want Truth. They don't want reason & evidence. They don't want to negotiate all that to arrive at a mutually beneficial relationship with you.
They want to exploit you.
Words won't get the abuser out of your boundaries.
When you have identified an abuser who seeks to exploit you, there are two options:
1) Compromise/move your boundaries
2) Move them out of your boundaries
What you CANNOT do is convince them to remove themselves using reason & evidence. That will NOT work.
Only a fool continually attempts to negotiate, and reason with an abuser.
Only a fool continually hopes that his abuser can be convinced to respect his boundaries, with reason & evidence.
Strong men know you can only "convince" an abuser with force.
Be strong. Don't be a fool.
You must identify both your allies, and your abusers/exploiters, to know how to interact with them.
Allies will honor Truth, reason, and evidence. Your abusers will not.
You seek, debate, and negotiate with allies.
You avoid, fight and handle abusers.
NEVER confuse the two.