So, an acquaintance visited me yesterday. He called me and asked if he could bring his daughter... well, she is about the same age as Amiyah (a year old than Amiyah)... So I was like sure, Amiyah would love that. They came and around 4 pm, and let me tell you

I knew that little girl would be enu ja wire the moment I saw her. She asked me "what's your name?" I said "Okiki" she asked "why did they give you that name? Sounds weird". I dont know, maybe you should goan ask Iya Ijebu, abi madam no network. Alaileko omo. See her head
She got on my couch with her shoes. I asked her "could you please take of your shoes". She asked "why?" Her dad was like "Cindy... come on" leave her now, shebi her mouth is sharp. Boya it is your daddy that bought this couch for me. Elenu pelebe. So we drank while the kids...
Played. Around 5: 30 we decided to order pizza and chicken wings for dinner. Fast forward, we started eating. See, me I normally help Amiyah dismantle chicken bones cos she like to eat like oyinbo. She will eat small and jump to the next one. So she would ask "daddy do you want
Bones or I should throw it in the trash" and I'll be like "let me help you eat it, make e no be like say I dey vex" so she asked yesterday if I wanted bones "I was like 🤔🤔 well, bring it so you won't think daddy is vexing". I dismantled it with pride. Nothing concern me-
We got done eating and continued drinking in the living room, while the kids continued eating. I just heard "Amiyah can you go give these bones to your dad? So he can eat them?"..

I was like...
Shey this girl thinks my name is Bruno ni? Abi Lucky? Abi Jimmy? Abi what's all these iranu she is saying. Amiyah too shouted... Dad, you want more bones? Amiyah that has home training too, she af use it and eat chicken wings. How can you be asking your daddy that question? Ehn?
Amiyah? Why are you shameless laidis. Omo! I was just looking at both of them like a bat. This one is not a good friend. Cindy said "our dogs love bones". I am yet to understand why she made that statement but I hope she isn't comparing me with their dogs.
That small girl like Asotan oro. She asked for Caprisun, I was about to say we don't have anymore. Amiyah ran to the fridge and got her another one. You see that Amiyah, we have a very important discussion when she wakes up because e be like say she won dey join bad gang.
Cos how can you give someone using style to insult your daddy caprisun? Are you against your daddy ni? Someone that thinks your dad is a dog because of bones? Anyways sha that girl won't come to our house again. Don't let me feel guilty in my own house. O wrong.
I didnt eat Cindy's bone. Because I know you people on this twitter don't have sense lmao, una don dey ask me. I'm not shameless like you people.

More from Life

1/“What would need to be true for you to….X”

Why is this the most powerful question you can ask when attempting to reach an agreement with another human being or organization?

A thread, co-written by @deanmbrody:


2/ First, “X” could be lots of things. Examples: What would need to be true for you to

- “Feel it's in our best interest for me to be CMO"
- “Feel that we’re in a good place as a company”
- “Feel that we’re on the same page”
- “Feel that we both got what we wanted from this deal

3/ Normally, we aren’t that direct. Example from startup/VC land:

Founders leave VC meetings thinking that every VC will invest, but they rarely do.

Worse over, the founders don’t know what they need to do in order to be fundable.

4/ So why should you ask the magic Q?

To get clarity.

You want to know where you stand, and what it takes to get what you want in a way that also gets them what they want.

It also holds them (mentally) accountable once the thing they need becomes true.

5/ Staying in the context of soliciting investors, the question is “what would need to be true for you to want to invest (or partner with us on this journey, etc)?”

Multiple responses to this question are likely to deliver a positive result.

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“We don’t negotiate salaries” is a negotiation tactic.

Always. No, your company is not an exception.

A tactic I don’t appreciate at all because of how unfairly it penalizes low-leverage, junior employees, and those loyal enough not to question it, but that’s negotiation for you after all. Weaponized information asymmetry.

Listen to Aditya


And by the way, you should never be worried that an offer would be withdrawn if you politely negotiate.

I have seen this happen *extremely* rarely, mostly to women, and anyway is a giant red flag. It suggests you probably didn’t want to work there.

You wish there was no negotiating so it would all be more fair? I feel you, but it’s not happening.

Instead, negotiate hard, use your privilege, and then go and share numbers with your underrepresented and underpaid colleagues. […]