You won't believe me I know, how you're feeling right now, you're going to mentally give me the 🖕when I tell you there is HOPE! And I BEG YOU, before making that FINAL decision, read the ramblings of someone who KNOWS EXACTLY what hopeless feels like! 🚨
Alright, warning before you start to read. This will be a LONG Thread. (Pretty obvious already!)
I'm doing something that is VERY DIFFICULT for me. Being open and vulnerable. I am very open and honest about my past traumatic experiences,
but ALWAYS after I've gone through the trial, processed it, learned from it, and will share to help others that may be going through similar experiences.
Sexual abuse
Addiction
Depression (Massive Depressive Disorder at one point)
Suicide attempts/ or feelings of wanting to
Chronic Pain condition for 8 years, which lead me right back to my addiction demons who had patiently waited over 20 YEARS for me to play with them again!)
So many experiences I've survived and think of myself as a fucking warrior!
Those stories are easy for me to share now, since I have been sharing with others for 12 years now. It's both healing for me and hopefully helpful to the other person as well.
But THIS is different. This is about what I'm currently, real time experiencing. I've been one to
never wants to burden anyone. So I will suffer through whatever all alone. I am a person with great faith (keeping religion out of this though, I believe in a Higher Power (HP) is all I'll say on this platform to keep minds from closing over silliness).
So not totally alone, but with my HP, but no person. People may notice I'm in pain because I can't fake being happy and bubbly, besides they'd think something was really wrong if I did, not me.
I'll play whatever it is down to where it's more like just an any day "shit happened" kind of thing and not whatever is really going on. I don't want anyone to worry, "I've got this" once again.
I made that way longer than necessary, but I'm too lazy to redo!
So HERE FINALLY is what made me decide I NEED to share this, real time experience, because SOMEONE OUT THERE may NEED to hear it NOW, and months down the road after processing this may be too late for someone. (My guilty conscience is a bitch!)
Going to try to unroll for easier reading before I continue. BRB!