BC LIFE
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@AutSciPerson I have to say, all this info about sound sensitivity is making me emotional. I've never been able to talk about this. I can work around airplanes, no protection (did it for years), but if I'm caught near a city fireworks show I lose my mind. The fear and pain is indescribable.

 I tell people one of my biggest fears is balloons, and obviously it's funny to imagine, until they see me have a psychotic break when one pops. I lose myself and it's terrifying. I don't know what it is about loud sudden sounds that hurts me, and it appears I'll never know.
I dread the 4th of July every year. My birthday parties were often held then. Recently I discovered if I wear earbuds and blast music with audio PPE on top I can stand to be outside. That first show where I could keep my hands free I held my best friend's hand and felt wondrous.
I'm crying just remembering discovering I could be happy underneath fireworks. I'll never understand why my parents didn't think to ever try to help me, and instead made me suffer for so long, feeling absolutely alone with this. Only once do I remember my mother comforting me.
It was a particularly bad year, a lot of college kids I think renting nearby camps, and I hid under my bed for hours. My mother came up and laid on my bed, dangled her hand down to show she was there, and sang to me. I was 15.
Now I can go out and feel a thrill looking up, knowing I've bested my fear in this small way. I can't hear the excitement or words from friends when I'm at a show, but I can see it and feel it, which is more than enough. I can now say fireworks really are beautiful.
Too my brothers, sisters, and siblings with sound sensitivity, I'm sorry I didn't think about your suffering as well. I hope you take comfort as I have tonight knowing you are not out here alone. I hope over time you mold the world to your needs and others no longer belittle you.
I will fight to make our voices heard, and show that this shit is real, and it SUCKS. Accommodations for diabilitating disabilities and hypersensitivities can be completely life changing. Imagine being the reason for millions of people's happiness. All you have to do is listen.
Man, if anyone knows how to start a charity, I'd be down with creating one that provides OVER the ear (not on if possible) audio PPE to kids with sensory processing disorders. Hit me the fuck up if so!
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