CW Nightmare

In the torn out belly of an old, sprawling hotel, I found myself investigating strange happenings in the fledgling restaurant that sprouted in the blasted ruin.

Swarthy men gutted the collapse, using every nail & timber to build the eatery and it's long tables.
1🧵

I swear to have seen a spider, large as a dinner plate, with an ape-like face and twitching human fingers for legs, ground down to bloody points. But only a flash witnessed in a broken pane of glass. The bike thing was some illusion. A twisting of light and color, nothing more.
It was then , in the darkening hours of the day, that six young travelers entered, seating themselves at the single large feast table. Colorful, happy, bawdy souls in all, they seemed unaffected by the haze of terror that lingered among the workmen.
3🧵
I found no sign of mold or damp, gas or chemical, any phenomenon to explain the various sightings.
The matron, dutiful and mild in manner, brought the travelers beer, soft pretzels, and honey butter - leaving them to chitter and indulge.
4 🧵
The workmen, in the growing dark, left as quickly as a flock of larks, in one writing mass at the foreman's whistle. Unashamed in their obvious terror. Each man nodded to me, the stranger, in quiet gratitude and sorrowful fancy, as I dared to remain after dark.
5 🧵
The matron's cat darted from beneath the travelers' table, causing a vigorous uproar from the few that drowned out the quiet peacefulness of the rest.

One knocked over a pitcher and bowled himself over his chair as the woman to his shrieked from a dousing of cold beer.
6 🧵
"I'll eat that God damned cat!" Said the man who toppled.
The rest chided and piled on quip and comment, an echo chamber of dionysian grandeur.

My blood ran cold at sight of the Matron, stamping out from the kitchen. I dared not move, crouched in the dark rubble.
She spoke, loud and clear as a fell, fervored priest:
"There are those with nine lives
and those without.
Those who know fear
which are the devout.
Fed on beast and man
And humble rat,
Tis devils and Hell Hounds that
confess'd to the cat!"

8 🧵
I fled, once it had passed, from that ruined, godless place and never spoke of it out loud. For I fear what damned sight I saw still watches me, still listens, patient and hungry. But I see such sights with my waking eye, now, and cannot trust to memory.

I saw -
9 🧵
the most loud man, the self proclaimed cat-eater, come apart like a scarecrow tied to four horses. The limbs floated there among his own exsanguination. In the space of a heartbeat he had stopped being man and became suspended human components.

There was no air to scream.
The hands and feet splayed out, ripping and twisting into new, impossible shapes. The blood channeled into a whip-like tendril on the back of the shape, compressed now into the size of a loaf of bread. Spined or quilled with fragments of the man it once was.

10 🧵
The travelers were still and silent as I, unable to coax our mortal minds to any semblance of action, reason. We stared dumbly as the thing fell with a wet thud, and disappeared beneath the table.

The next howl of pain bade my body to flee in blind, mute, inhuman horror.

11/11
::: And then I woke up. I remembered the whole thing, from finding the hotel to running away, clear as day.

I hope you enjoy the early style of writing, as it fits with how I perceived the world of the dream.

In time - I hope to forget.
@threadreaderapp unroll

More from For later read

I should mention, this is why I keep talking about this. Because I know so many people who legally CAN'T.

How do I know they have NDAs, if they can't talk legally about them? Because they trusted me with their secrets... after I said something. That's how they knew I was safe.


Some of the people who have reached out to me privately have been sitting with the pain of what happened to them and the regret that they signed for YEARS. But at the time, it didn't seem like they had any other option BUT to sign.

I do not blame *anyone* for signing an NDA, especially when it's attached to a financial lifeline. When you feel like your family's wellbeing is at stake, you'll do anything -- even sign away your own voice -- to provide for them. That's not a "choice"; that's survival.

And yes, many of the people whose stories I now know were pressured into signing an NDA by my husband's ex-employer. Some of whom I *never* would have guessed. People I thought "left well." Turns out, they've just been *very* good at abiding by the terms of their NDA.

(And others who have reached out had similar experiences with other Christian orgs. Turns out abuse, and the use of NDAs to cover up that abuse, is rampant in a LOT of places.)
Part of what is going on here is that large sectors of evangelicalism are poorly equipped to help people deal with basic struggles, let alone the ubiquitous pornography addictions that most of their men have been enslaved to for years.


On the one hand, there's a high standard of holiness. On the other hand, there's a model of growth that is basically "Try Harder to Mean it More." Identify the relevant scriptural truth & believe it with all of your sincerity so that you may access the Holy Spirit's help to obey.

Helping sincere believers believe and obey the Bible facts is pretty much all the Holy Spirit does these days, other than convict us of our sins in light of the Bible facts.

If you know you are sincere and hate your sin and believe the right Bible facts as hard as you can but continue to be enslaved to your pornography addiction, what else left for you to do? Just Really, Just Really, Just Really Trust God and Give it to Him?

To suggest that there are other strategies available sounds to those formed in this model of growth like one is also suggesting that the Bible is insufficient, but it also suggests something just as threatening- that there are aspects of reality that are not immediately apparent.

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