As the world becomes increasingly grumpy, the courteous gentleman has the opportunity not only to make a difference in the lives of others, but also to distinguish himself.

Here are some thoughts (notes-to-self, really) on being that kind of man.

On greeting others with enthusiasm, like you're actually happy to see them--

https://t.co/eK1rfM015V
On treating your conversations like they matter--

https://t.co/hOaVPMRWs4
On kindness towards the overlooked--

https://t.co/pxxXDX28wp
On learning names, especially of the overlooked--

https://t.co/gCGvW6lgZW
On avoiding defensiveness--

https://t.co/EBhQiuPJGF
On accepting compliments--

https://t.co/wyQh6olFIX
On saying thank you the best way--

https://t.co/Qx3P9e3R1M
On never dismissing others--

https://t.co/NplgHVFv2R
On embracing small talk--

https://t.co/b0tmumyVzp
On not overstaying your welcome--

https://t.co/qJNYBy5a3S
And, of course, your courtesy becomes all the more potent when you do it from a position of strength.

You are not nice, not domesticated, not a pushover hiding weakness behind manners--you are a potentially dangerous man who chooses kindness and warmth.

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1/ Here’s a list of conversational frameworks I’ve picked up that have been helpful.

Please add your own.

2/ The Magic Question: "What would need to be true for you


3/ On evaluating where someone’s head is at regarding a topic they are being wishy-washy about or delaying.

“Gun to the head—what would you decide now?”

“Fast forward 6 months after your sabbatical--how would you decide: what criteria is most important to you?”

4/ Other Q’s re: decisions:

“Putting aside a list of pros/cons, what’s the *one* reason you’re doing this?” “Why is that the most important reason?”

“What’s end-game here?”

“What does success look like in a world where you pick that path?”

5/ When listening, after empathizing, and wanting to help them make their own decisions without imposing your world view:

“What would the best version of yourself do”?