One thing I really notice in friends who haven't done any therapy is a lack of conflict resolution skills. So I figure hey, let's do a mini lesson on conflict resolution right here in this thread.

One philosophy for conflict resolution within psychology is that there are three main priorities you can have in a conflict: respecting yourself, maintaining a good relationship with the other person, or getting a task done. (Reference: these DBT skills https://t.co/C7CAlDaE5A )

Most people want to do all three, and you can, but the idea is it can be unrealistic to get all three goals accomplished perfectly-- maybe it's worth thinking about which goals matter most to you right now, in this scenario and relationship, and which you're willing to sacrifice.

To respect yourself, these are good guidelines to prioritize:
1 Keep fairness strongly in mind.
2 Be wary of apologizing. Think hard before offering any apology-- do you really need to say sorry here?
3 Keep in mind what you value.
4 Stick to being truthful, even if you're angry.

To maintain a relationship, keep these in mind:
1 Be gentle, not aggressive.
2 Ask questions, be actively interested in their opinions.
3 Actively validate the way they feel.
4 Have an easy manner. Watch your tone of voice & body language. It's not all about what you're saying.