i don't believe i have an obligation to "process" or "resolve" "trauma"

i think as long as you can get away with it, you get to "keep" your trauma. you earned it

my rule is like this: if i fulfil my social obligations and get along with everyone enough, i get to keep the shadows, the anger, the spite, all this nasty stuff i hide in the corner

if i'm a mean asshole and do mean asshole things and hurt people or whatever then maybe you will drug me or lock me up for society's sake, thats fair

but if i work with my fucked up parts enough that they don't manifest in "pathological" or "antisocial" ways i cant control, then i feel like i've justified its existence enough that society doesn't have anything on me anymore

like, legally, so to speak. they cant prosecute me. im free to go, see