🧵 Healing PTSD: A Thread 🧵
CW: Trauma, abuse, suicidal ideation

If you have followed me for a bit, you've probably seen me talk about exposure therapy, the 5Fs, and a little about the process of healing from PTSD.

I'm ready to tell my story now.

The wound I've been healing from was from a relationship. It began as something extraordinarily beautiful, something I thought was a once-in-a-lifetime connection, and became destructive and abusive.

I loved this woman like I've never loved anyone. We had an intense spiritual bond, and made a commitment to nourish and foster one another's spiritual growth. We built and refined our practices together and created space to reflect truth to one another.

We bonded over our love of art and poetry, our shared passion for justice, and our love of nature. She was also the most beautiful person I've ever dated, a former model, and we had an unreal physical connection, with near-perfect complimentary sexuality. She was my dream partner

Partially because I was blinded by love, and because I lacked courage to risk losing her, I didn't speak up or push back against red flags when they appeared. They began as small cruelties and boundary violations. I ignored them, forgot them when we made up, made excuses for her.