2020, the year I found sobriety.

Just before midnight on December 31, 2019, alone on my couch with a free pour of Jameson in hand, I made a decision to quit drinking. Just until our second baby was born, she was due in February.

What if I had to, you know, drive my partner to the hospital in the middle of the night and couldn’t because I was a little drunk? I was at least a little drunk every single day.

There were logistics to figure out this time, I would have to get our then 3 year old to a friend’s house. Someone to look after the dog. Go over the checklist. Make sure everything was in the hospital bags. Don’t forget the infant car seat.

I couldn’t just stop by saying so, I’d tried that before and couldn’t make it stick. I needed a plan, a script to follow.

I replaced my nightly ritual of drinking with learning fiddle tunes on the mandolin. Watching Netflix and scrolling through my phone were things to accompany my drinking. In about a week I was able to do things on the mandolin that I’d wished I could do for years. That felt good.