And as it's the Feast Day of the Holy Innocents, celebrating Toughness on Crime, Lorranawdah & Zero Tolerance for Minglin' among the Judean Under-Fives from Jolly Old King Herod, it's time to announce the results of the #DrawPritiPatel CHALLENGE!!!

And first off apologies for the delay in announcing this. As you know, negotiations between the judges went right up to the wire, & the amount of swarfega we'll need to get the blood off that ceiling is nobody's business. Worse, the hand-slashed fish head bearing the results...

...was sat in the back of a refrigerated hearse in a layby outside Ashford while Matt Hancock rang round his mates to find someone to award the contract chaffeuring contract, £300m in used fivers no questions arsked got me? And then, of course, ripped to his tits on babycham &...

...sherbert dabs KGB Sleeper agent & Pantomime Prime Minister "Boris" Johnson sat on the results all over Christmas while he secretly flew by flying monkey to deepest Siberia as they dynamited the permafrost to create the grave for George Blake, the tears freezing on his...

...mottled cheek as "Boris" bade farewell to his old mentor and control. Anyway, let's crack on. And one thing the panel of experts agreed was that you lot really really don't like @pritipatel. Some might even describe your depictions of her as... well... bullying. Not I though..