Twas the night before Christmas and all over the ‘net,
Not a creature was stirring except a few cyber threats
The firewalls were configured at the egress with care,
But that wouldn’t stop us from being hit by ransomware. 1/

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While attackers hit the web server and established a beachhead
Mama with her EDR and I with my IDS
Were ready to tackle this hot infosec mess. /2

Down in the SOC there arose such a clatter,
I logged into my dashboard to see what was the matter.
This thing had better work, it cost so much cash.
How in 2020 can this thing STILL require Flash?! 3/

The alerts lit up the dashboard, it produced such a glow
But it’s because the threshold for alerting was configured so low.
When what to my wondering eyes did appear,
But 300 false positive alarms. I thought “I’ll be here all year.” 4/

Then a little old DLL, signed by SolarWinds,
Was really the Russians, masters of supply chain break-ins.
We need some new vendors said the CISO, and the salespeople came. 5/