So I finished reading The Velvet Rage today( I think it was Owen Jones who first put it on my radar) and it's been on my wishlist for a while, I had some extra cash thanks to some stocks I'd invested in so I decided to treat myself.
I have some thoughts™ (thread)

First off, the beginning chapters of this book are very good. They describe an experience growing up gay that I as a self identified queer man can vibe with. Even in a supportive household queer kids learn all too quickly what is and isn't acceptable parts of themselves to show

It stresses the book is writing very clearly about the gay male experience and acknowledges that the broad strokes it paints with could apply to lesbians too but are expressed in different ways. No acknowledgement is made however in highlighting the exp of non cis, non white gays

Topping that off, the book feels horribly upper middle class; talk of clients from executive backgrounds being ashamed of who they are. That may not be the experience of every gay. Theres also an assumption that most gays come from a home with a caring mother and distant father

It takes a certain view on non-monogamy and promiscuity, framing it as a symptom of trying to overcompensate for a lack of validation in teen years and while that's certainly probably the case for some, it doesn't frame anything other than monogamy as intrinsically rewarding.