Susan, CEO of @YouTube
Anne, CEO of @23andMe
Janet, professor at @UCSF
How did Esther raise so many successful kids?
5 simple lessons to raise independent thinkers 👇🪡
Susan, CEO of @YouTube
Anne, CEO of @23andMe
Janet, professor at @UCSF
How did Esther raise so many successful kids?
- Trust
- Respect
- Independence
- Collaboration
- Kindness
https://t.co/kvB5AdBxre
But what makes Esther’s philosophy special is *how* she applies them in real-life situations.
Let’s look at some examples 👇🏼
Trust means believing kids can figure things out for themselves.
For example, one Saturday Esther’s grandson (12 YO) needed a haircut and her two granddaughters (8 YO) needed school supplies.
But she didn’t have time for both trips.
And dropped off her granddaughters at Target and let them buy their supplies.
Both are relatively safe places, but to many parents, this still might sound *crazy*.
How will they know what to do?
if we don’t trust kids to do things, they’ll never learn to take care of themselves.
They’ll turn into adults who aren't confident enough to solve their own problems.
But if we give them trust, they learn to trust themselves.
Respect means supporting kids as they identify and pursue their *own* goals.
Esther's grandson, Jacob, was slow to start walking. At 18 months, he was still scooting around the floor on his bottom.
The doctor said his legs worked fine, but his parents still worried.
Immediately, he was glued to the other kids dribbling 🏀
One kid took a shot, the ball bounced away, and Jacob *ran* to go take his turn.
Jacob knew how to walk. He just needed a good enough reason to show everyone else.
“Parents need to calm down. Your kids will walk. They will talk… Kids need to be allowed to take the lead. That means you follow them. Children know who they are. Your job is to honor and respect that.”
Nurture your kids’ autonomy and individuality.
Independence means not doing anything for your kids that they can do for themselves.
In other words, it means giving kids lots of age-appropriate levels of freedom.
That way, they start learning to take care of themselves from their earliest years.
When her babies cried in the night, she would wait a moment before comforting them.
This short break gives infants a chance to practice self-soothing and take their first steps toward independence.
“I know this will sound crazy to some people, but here’s my ultimate goal as a teacher and parent: to make myself obsolete. That’s right. I want kids to be so independent that they no longer need me.”
Collaboration means working with kids like partners in crime.
That’s how Esther ran her classrooms. Instead of lecturing at students, she let them contribute to discussions, decisions, and even discipline.
But the school admin didn’t like this model.
I told my students what was happening to me, and that the next time the principal came to evaluate me, they needed to be totally quiet or I was going to be fired. I actually told them that. I trusted them. I had nothing to lose.”
Ordinarily, the classroom buzzed with collaboration, but when the principal entered, the kids stopped talking, sat still, and Esther gave a lecture.
The class got high behavior marks, Esther kept her job, and the students kept their teacher.
Kindness means living a life filled with care, warmth, empathy, and concern for others.
According to Esther, it’s the most important parenting principle.
Trust, respect, independence, and collaboration must lead to kids who add more kindness to the world.
examples and practice.
Esther taught her daughters with her actions, the books she read, and the shows she recommended.
She challenged them to always lend a hand, make eye contact, smile, and offer greetings...small things with huge impact.
But kindness is *key* to personal success.
Whether you’re trying to get into Stanford or Google, recruiters look for candidates who’ll treat others well.
What matters most is that they’re independent thinkers who can take care of themselves and show kindness to others.
And with TRICK, any parent can raise their kids the same way.
https://t.co/tA81ITOTNE
Subscribe below! 🤸🏼
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More from Principles
Shared a lot of wins publicly in 2021, so it feels appropriate to share the losses just as publicly.
Here are my 10 biggest Ls from 2021 (and what I learned from each one):
Dopamine Addiction
Humans were not made for social media—the dopamine hits are dangerous.
I fell victim.
On several occasions, I found myself constantly refreshing my notifications on a viral thread.
It was gross.
I’m learning to physically force separation to avoid it.
Hustle Culture Fail
I spent the better part of the last decade as a hustle culture aficionado.
Then I burned myself out and was totally incapable of thinking creatively.
I made a change. Now I:
• Work like a lion
• Sleep 8 hours
• Take more walks
My life & work have 10Xed.
Solana Fail
I invested in Solana early and was riding high when it hit $30+ in April—10X+ on my investment.
I sold it and thought I was the next Warren Buffett.
Then it hit $100, $200, & $250—as I stubbornly sat on the sidelines refusing to re-enter.
I am not Warren Buffett.
The Hedonic Treadmill
I tweeted this in May—and then failed to practice what I preached.
Every win felt a bit less exciting. It’s part of our biology, but it was no way to live.
Measure internally, not externally.
Here are my 10 biggest Ls from 2021 (and what I learned from each one):
Dopamine Addiction
Humans were not made for social media—the dopamine hits are dangerous.
I fell victim.
On several occasions, I found myself constantly refreshing my notifications on a viral thread.
It was gross.
I’m learning to physically force separation to avoid it.
Hustle Culture Fail
I spent the better part of the last decade as a hustle culture aficionado.
Then I burned myself out and was totally incapable of thinking creatively.
I made a change. Now I:
• Work like a lion
• Sleep 8 hours
• Take more walks
My life & work have 10Xed.
Solana Fail
I invested in Solana early and was riding high when it hit $30+ in April—10X+ on my investment.
I sold it and thought I was the next Warren Buffett.
Then it hit $100, $200, & $250—as I stubbornly sat on the sidelines refusing to re-enter.
I am not Warren Buffett.
The Hedonic Treadmill
I tweeted this in May—and then failed to practice what I preached.
Every win felt a bit less exciting. It’s part of our biology, but it was no way to live.
Measure internally, not externally.
The Hedonic Treadmill is real.
— Sahil Bloom (@SahilBloom) May 21, 2021
Humans have a tendency to quickly return to a baseline level of happiness after positive events.
Step off the treadmill.
Focus on increasing your happiness baseline, not on the height or frequency of the spikes above it.
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