I have a long story and advice needed because I think I lost funding along the way this day because of one teacher and surprising me a mandatory attendance requirement then accusing of academic dishonesty less than 3 hours to the deadline @dismhmatters @DisInHigherEd 1/

December 1st and I felt like I had all the support in the world to succeed. So much people edited for me provided feedback, I was calm and ready to finalize my applications that day to submit by 8:59pm on December 1st since SOPHAS is on EST and I noticed a note that funding 2/
couldn’t be guaranteed if you don’t submit by December 1st. The afternoon and I have a 0/6 for an assignment, dropping me in a major class from a B to a C. I look at the group assignment my name is on it, the TA comment says sorry you had to miss this one. I commented that I 3/
was there, what do you mean I wasn’t. I was the leader that week, she said to stay after class to speak with the instructor. It was the worst mistake ever. First off, I have never understood the syllabus. It is in different portions you have to click through to find stuff 4/
I still haven’t really been able to grasp what she wants, she changes on a dime. Yet, she has been responsible. Nothing in the syllabus says that attendance is mandatory & that synchronous groups must finish in class time. Our group asked her if we could meet outside of class 5/
and she said yes. So we do a hybrid group, the day she accused me of not being there I wasn’t in class and my group didn’t make it that far in the less than an hour we are given. It is intense what needs to happen to get a 6/6 and it is more than less than an hour. So spoke to 6/
her and says that since I wasn’t there, there is no confirmation that I didn’t just email my input. She questioned my academic integrity that I would never break as a student with disabilities and a leader. It induced a flare up. Think of typing when it feels like knives 7/
in your shoulders, your ribs and it is painful to breathe. I am trying to finish these applications and my roommate because I planned on relaxing in the living room after submitting at 8pm to watch TV kept suggesting to stop typing. I paused a lot to winch, almost cry 8/
Triggered by a lack of trust and a conversation I didn’t expect now this intense pain, I just don’t even know how to begin this conversation with either school even though it is here now. I submitted at nearly 10pm PST, but it was December 2nd. I hate that it was December 2nd 9/
Should I email to say something to explain? Should I hope and pray it is okay? I just don’t want to lose funding because this nightmare happened the day I submitted. @DisInHigherEd @APHADisability @dismhmatters @OpenAcademics @PFforPhDs Advice please & see above long story 10/10
@threadreaderapp unroll

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1/ Here’s a list of conversational frameworks I’ve picked up that have been helpful.

Please add your own.

2/ The Magic Question: "What would need to be true for you


3/ On evaluating where someone’s head is at regarding a topic they are being wishy-washy about or delaying.

“Gun to the head—what would you decide now?”

“Fast forward 6 months after your sabbatical--how would you decide: what criteria is most important to you?”

4/ Other Q’s re: decisions:

“Putting aside a list of pros/cons, what’s the *one* reason you’re doing this?” “Why is that the most important reason?”

“What’s end-game here?”

“What does success look like in a world where you pick that path?”

5/ When listening, after empathizing, and wanting to help them make their own decisions without imposing your world view:

“What would the best version of yourself do”?
Still wondering about this 🤔


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