I left an abusive relationship in the middle of a pandemic, with two young kids, and no stable income.

I was broken, mentally exhausted, sick and numb as a result of years of verbal and emotional abuse.

Today I am healing, finding joy and becoming whole again. And so can you.

There comes a point when the pain of staying becomes stronger than the fear of leaving. That’s how you know it’s time.

To choose yourself.
To regain control over your life.
To leave.

But it also takes a strong support system. People who won’t ask you to stay and suck it up.
Remember you never know what people are going through behind closed doors.

Don’t ask people to stay in abusive relationships when you have no idea what they are experiencing on a daily basis. Don’t ask them to stay for the children either.

Instead, listen to them.
A lot of women are experiencing abuse without even knowing it. The constant criticism, gaslighting, anger, control, manipulation... it can be so subtle that it becomes « natural ». You don’t question it anymore yet deep inside your self esteem is deteriorating day after day.
If you really want to help, stop asking women « Why don’t you just leave? ». It’s more complex than you’d think. Here are 5 reasons (among others) why people stay in abusive relationships:

1. Fear
2. Financial reasons
3. Loss of self
4. The desire to fix things
5. Children 👇🏽
1. FEAR: The most dangerous time for a woman is after she leaves an abusive relationship. Research has shown the risk of domestic homicides is higher during a separation and violence often escalates when the victim decides to leave.
2. FINANCES: Many women who leave abusive relationships return due to financial insecurity. It’s common that the abuser controls the family finances. In the majority of DV cases, there is financial abuse involved, the most powerful method of keeping a victim trapped.
3. LOSS OF SELF: Experiencing domestic abuse, of any form, affects your self-worth, confidence and ability to make healthy choices. Many women feel worthless as a result of constant mistreatment by their partners. It also disrupts their ability to take action and move forward.
4. THE DESIRE TO FIX THINGS: What abusers have in common is that they will make you feel like everything is your fault. So you doubt yourself and never question their behaviour. As a result, you start to believe you need to change who you are to make the relationship work.
5. CHILDREN: Many people stay in abusive relationships because they want their children to grow up with both of their parents, even at the expense of their own well-being. Others are afraid they won’t be able to provide for them as a single parent or loose custody in court.
When the time comes, I will write about how I was able to survive domestic abuse and rebuild myself in a book.

Writing has been my therapy over the years. It’s an essential part of my healing journey.

I don’t need to wait to be healed to write. I write as I heal.

More from Life

1/“What would need to be true for you to….X”

Why is this the most powerful question you can ask when attempting to reach an agreement with another human being or organization?

A thread, co-written by @deanmbrody:


2/ First, “X” could be lots of things. Examples: What would need to be true for you to

- “Feel it's in our best interest for me to be CMO"
- “Feel that we’re in a good place as a company”
- “Feel that we’re on the same page”
- “Feel that we both got what we wanted from this deal

3/ Normally, we aren’t that direct. Example from startup/VC land:

Founders leave VC meetings thinking that every VC will invest, but they rarely do.

Worse over, the founders don’t know what they need to do in order to be fundable.

4/ So why should you ask the magic Q?

To get clarity.

You want to know where you stand, and what it takes to get what you want in a way that also gets them what they want.

It also holds them (mentally) accountable once the thing they need becomes true.

5/ Staying in the context of soliciting investors, the question is “what would need to be true for you to want to invest (or partner with us on this journey, etc)?”

Multiple responses to this question are likely to deliver a positive result.

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Хајде да направимо мали осврт на случај Мика Алексић .

Алексић је жртва енглеске освете преко Оливере Иванчић .
Мика је одбио да снима филм о блаћењу Срба и мењању историје Срба , иза целокупног пројекта стоји дипломатски кор Британаца у Београду и Оливера Иванчић


Оливера Илинчић је иначе мајка једне од његових ученица .
Која је претила да ће се осветити .

Мика се налази у притвору због наводних оптужби глумице Милене Радуловић да ју је наводно силовао човек од 70 година , са три бајпаса и извађеном простатом пре пет година

Иста персона је и обезбедила финансије за филм преко Беча а филм је требао да се бави животом Десанке Максимовић .
А сетите се и ко је иницирао да се Десанка Максимовић избаци из уџбеника и школства у Србији .

И тако уместо романсиране верзије Десанке Максимовић утицај Британаца

У Србији стави на пиједестал и да се Британци у Србији позитивно афирмишу како би се на тај начин усмерила будућност али и мењао ток историје .
Зато Мика са гнушањем и поносно одбија да снима такав филм тада и почиње хајка и претње која потиче из британских дипломатских кругова

Најгоре од свега што је то Мика Алексић изговорио у присуству високих дипломатских представника , а одговор је био да се све неће на томе завршити и да ће га то скупо коштати .
Нашта им је Мика рекао да је он свој живот проживео и да могу да му раде шта хоће и силно их извређао
॥ॐ॥
अस्य श्री गायत्री ध्यान श्लोक:
(gAyatri dhyAna shlOka)
• This shloka to meditate personified form of वेदमाता गायत्री was given by Bhagwaan Brahma to Sage yAgnavalkya (याज्ञवल्क्य).

• 14th shloka of गायत्री कवचम् which is taken from वशिष्ठ संहिता, goes as follows..


• मुक्ता-विद्रुम-हेम-नील धवलच्छायैर्मुखस्त्रीक्षणै:।
muktA vidruma hEma nIla dhavalachhAyaiH mukhaistrlkShaNaiH.

• युक्तामिन्दुकला-निबद्धमुकुटां तत्वार्थवर्णात्मिकाम्॥
yuktAmindukalA nibaddha makutAm tatvArtha varNAtmikam.

• गायत्रीं वरदाभयाङ्कुश कशां शुभ्रं कपालं गदाम्।
gAyatrIm vardAbhayANkusha kashAm shubhram kapAlam gadAm.

• शंखं चक्रमथारविन्दयुगलं हस्तैर्वहन्ती भजै॥
shankham chakramathArvinda yugalam hastairvahantIm bhajE.

This shloka describes the form of वेदमाता गायत्री.

• It says, "She has five faces which shine with the colours of a Pearl 'मुक्ता', Coral 'विद्रुम', Gold 'हेम्', Sapphire 'नील्', & a Diamond 'धवलम्'.

• These five faces are symbolic of the five primordial elements called पञ्चमहाभूत:' which makes up the entire existence.

• These are the elements of SPACE, FIRE, WIND, EARTH & WATER.

• All these five faces shine with three eyes 'त्रिक्षणै:'.