Okay, I just found out the very name of the learning disorder that resonates with my condition

That’s me alright, shit
I had always known that there was something wrong with me, something I had had a hard time putting a name on. Apparently, I have auditory processing disorder. That is me to the bone. The bane of my existance
I had always been this child who can’t sit still in the classroom, listening to lecturers drone on. During my high school, I read comic books as I tried to listen to the classes. I was and am disorganized, it isn’t a surprise that I got into troubles with authority figure a lot
Even during my university year, I don’t listen at classes, I prefer to study by myself rather than processing the verbal information which I have a hard time processing as instantly as others. I am not a good listeners either in class setting or outside of it. And it shows
I put a lot of effort into processing the information that I hear thus formulating a response become a side chore. No wonder, I am not a good human. Sigh
And then, I had a really tough time remembering what I heard. My brain is a shitty mess. Thinking is too much of a hassle
Really, I wish I was born as a cat or anything else but human. I’m 7% of the humanity. The outlier. I am not stupid or anything, but this disability has become a big deal of a handicap. It is hard to fully develop my potential when I can just forget the names or shit I just heard
What’s worst, it is not like that I forget. I just didn’t fking listen. Ffs. The basic-est skill of a human being, has always been a huge chore for me. Why living is this much of a pain
Anw I’m a bit relieved by this revealation. I didn’t know, now I know. Might make some appointment with a therapy and get help. Sigh. I wish I was normal
I suck at being a human.
People won’t believe that I’m struggling with a learning disorder though. I always topped the class at school and nowadays I have pretty decent achievements in academic at university.
They think that I am smart. But I am not
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