We’ve done menstruation, let’s talk about the menopause! Because only women however they present can have the menopause although men who have had treatments for prostate cancer can have symptoms mimicking the menopause. There’s nothing scary about

the menopause. It’s a perfectly natural function of the body but it’s tied up with a thousand stereotypes of women, ageism and ‘old women are frightening’. True, old women are often very frightening to young men because look! A woman who doesn’t give a rat’s
arse what you think of her now all her mating hormones have gone and with it your charm as a potential mate. Now you’re just another annoying lad. That’s gotta hurt. Menopause means Wisdom, like it or not and it’s not always nice or cosy. Old women
are encouraged to refer to themselves as ‘young at heart’ and ‘as young as you feel’ and other such crap and told to ‘never give in to age’ which is ludicrous. Cosmetic surgery is now a thing but I can tell you what the surgeons and marketing
men won’t - it does not make you look young. You’re just an old woman who looks like at best, she’s had a great holiday and at worst like she was was trapped in a wind tunnel. Old is good. Old is meritorious. Old is survival. Old means you didn’t die young
so you’re a winner. Yes the menopause can - but not always by any means - come with annoying and uncomfortable physical symptoms it’s true. But they pass although sometimes - again not always - after a while. But if you survived puberty
you can survive menopause because it’s the same kind of thing but for old women. That’s why old men are often silly, because they’re perpetually adolescent. Old women are Fighting Crones. Menopause means you don’t have the tedious
business of menstruation and you can shag to your hearts content another thing that freaks men out quite often. Your skin will change and your hair will grey. Dying grey hair is a choice but be warned, Aubergine Lights didn’t look good at 25 and it looks
grim AF against old skin. Go lighter not darker. Or be a Grey Witch and embrace the beauty of silver. Don’t listen to morons who say ‘old women are ugly’ they aren’t. Wear a bikini on the beach if you like or go naked. If someone doesn’t like looking
at you let them look at the view it’s what they paid for the holiday for. Some women have an easy menopause and some don’t. But if you feel snappy and annoyed it might well be because the scales Society put on your eyes have dropped away and you’re seeing
the truth of women’s lives at last. If you have a dry vagina due to hormone depletion and it bothers you talk to your female GP and get localised oestrogen. If your face feels dry use a thicker moisturiser than you used to. If you put weight on or
your body shape changes keep as fit as you can but basically, fuck it, you weren’t put on this earth to conform to bullshit stereotypes. Menopause means freedom. You can live thinking it’s a curse or you can go fuck it, my time now. Good luck.

More from Health

🚨Important changes to lockdown/self-isolation regulations from 5pm

The Health Protection (Coronavirus, Restrictions) (All Tiers and Self-Isolation) (England) (Amendment) Regulations 2021

£800 'house party' FPN & police can now access track & trace data

https://t.co/k9XCpVsXhC


“Large gathering offence”

As trailed by Home Secretary last week there is now a fixed penalty notice of £800 (or £400 if you pay within 14 days) for participating in an gathering of over 15 people in a private residence


Fixed Penalty Notices double for each subsequent “large gathering offence” up to £6,400

Compare:
- Ordinary fixed penalty notice is £200 or £100 if paid in 14 days
- Holding or being involved in the holding of a gathering of over 30 people is £10,000


Second big change:

Since September has been a legal requirement to sell-isolate if you test positive/notified by Track & Trace of exposure to someone else who tested positive

Police can now be given access to NHS Track & Trace data if for the purpose of enforcement/prosecution


This will make it easier for police to enforce people breaking self-isolation rules. Currently there has been practically no enforcement.

Data says only a small proportion of people meant to be self-isolating are fully doing so.

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