BC CULTURE

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matthew remski
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Aubrey Marcus’s new “poem” joins Mikki Willis’s Election Night Ode (delivered at a prayer meeting for Trump in Austin) to form a new genre we can call Alt-Bro Epic (ABE).

ABE characteristics: 1) It has to sound like a sixth-grade school presentation by a boy who went to a poetry slam once and who has been told he’s God’s gift by life coaches. /2

2) ABE has to use the First Person Plural Omniscient to combine and conflate complex issues in a churning froth of unearned emotion that pretends to be universal while flattening all difference. Bromantic mansplaining that rhymes, sort of. /3

3) ABE positions the wealthy wellness influencer as the jejune bard of cultural and emotional reconciliation, after they have monetized COVID minimization and disinformation. /4

4) ABE must pretend to rise above porn while distorting, sensationalizing, and co-opting issues like CSA and poverty/starvation in the majority world, as well as racism and domestic violence. /5

Let’s play who wrote it? Mikki or Aubrey? The ABE conventions make it hard! /6

“After decades of being fed lies and fear,
we can thank the media for the way things appear.
By broadcasting propaganda, 24/7,
they've raised hell and socially distanced heaven.” /7

"The headlines
running down party lines
are the dealt drugs getting mainlined
carefully designed
to narcotize disfunction until we are resigned
to live a basic function.
Keep watching, pay taxes,
get vaxes and do nothing.
Just whine a little bit and drink more wine” /8

"20/20 is more than a code for perfect vision.
It is a year when humanity faces our most critical decisions.
To render our freedom to power hungry lunatics,
or cut the strings that keep us dancing to the puppet master's politics” /9

Everyone has the right to write poetry, and to keep it private. Look out for ABE to be a new front in the rebranding of the manosphere as a wellspring of heroic equanimity. Watch their followers praise their open, content-free hearts. /end

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