Aubrey Marcus’s new “poem” joins Mikki Willis’s Election Night Ode (delivered at a prayer meeting for Trump in Austin) to form a new genre we can call Alt-Bro Epic (ABE).

ABE characteristics: 1) It has to sound like a sixth-grade school presentation by a boy who went to a poetry slam once and who has been told he’s God’s gift by life coaches. /2
2) ABE has to use the First Person Plural Omniscient to combine and conflate complex issues in a churning froth of unearned emotion that pretends to be universal while flattening all difference. Bromantic mansplaining that rhymes, sort of. /3
3) ABE positions the wealthy wellness influencer as the jejune bard of cultural and emotional reconciliation, after they have monetized COVID minimization and disinformation. /4
4) ABE must pretend to rise above porn while distorting, sensationalizing, and co-opting issues like CSA and poverty/starvation in the majority world, as well as racism and domestic violence. /5
Let’s play who wrote it? Mikki or Aubrey? The ABE conventions make it hard! /6
“After decades of being fed lies and fear,
we can thank the media for the way things appear.
By broadcasting propaganda, 24/7,
they've raised hell and socially distanced heaven.” /7
"The headlines
running down party lines
are the dealt drugs getting mainlined
carefully designed
to narcotize disfunction until we are resigned
to live a basic function.
Keep watching, pay taxes,
get vaxes and do nothing.
Just whine a little bit and drink more wine” /8
"20/20 is more than a code for perfect vision.
It is a year when humanity faces our most critical decisions.
To render our freedom to power hungry lunatics,
or cut the strings that keep us dancing to the puppet master's politics” /9
Everyone has the right to write poetry, and to keep it private. Look out for ABE to be a new front in the rebranding of the manosphere as a wellspring of heroic equanimity. Watch their followers praise their open, content-free hearts. /end

More from Culture

Best books I read in 2020

1. Atomic Habits by @JamesClear

“If you show up at the gym 5 days in a row—even for 2 minutes—you're casting votes for your new identity. You’re not worried about getting in shape. Youre focused on becoming the type of person who doesn’t miss workouts”


Good Reasons for Bad Feelings

https://t.co/KZDqte19nG

2. “social anxiety is overwhelmingly common. Natural selection shaped us to care enormously what other people think..We constantly monitor how much others value us..Low self-esteem is a signal to try harder to please others”


The True Believer by Eric Hoffer

https://t.co/uZT4kdhzvZ

“Hatred is the most accessible and comprehensive of all unifying agents...Mass movements can rise and spread without belief in a God, but never without a believe in a devil.”


Grandstanding

https://t.co/4Of58AZUj8

"if politics becomes a morality pageant, then the contestants have an incentive to keep problems intact...politics becomes a forum to show off moral qualities...people will be dedicated to activism for its own sake, as a vehicle to preen"


Warriors and Worriers by Joyce Benenson

https://t.co/yLC4eGHEd4

“Across diverse cultures, a man who lives in the house with another man’s children is about 60 times more likely than the biological father to kill those children.”

You May Also Like