Authors, you deserve an agent who…

Replies to your emails in a timely fashion, and lets you know when they won’t be able to.
(1/13)

Reads your manuscripts, revisions, outlines, and other materials in a timely fashion, provides an EDA when needed, and lets you know if a delay occurs.
(2/13)
Communicates in a way that works for YOU, be that email, texting, or phone, and is open FROM THE CALL STAGE about any forms of communication they are unable or unwilling to use.
(3/13)
Understands and respects YOUR publishing goals, and is upfront and honest about how realistic they are.
(4/13)
Respects your decision to turn down any offer, for any reason, and to hold out for YOUR minimum requirements for taking an offer.
(5/13)
Forwards ALL rejections if you ask for all rejections, and forwards NONE if you ask for none. The agent does not get to dictate which will hurt you more.
(6/13)
Asks for your input on the sub list and IMMEDIATELY REMOVES any publishers you are not enthusiastic about (after a conversation about why the agent wants to include them if necessary).
(7/13)
Provides editorial advice or brainstorming when needed and admits when they are no longer able to see a concrete editorial path or publication path for a specific MS.
(8/13)
Calls you by the name you call yourself and asks if you mind if they want to call you something else. Respects you if you say no.
(9/13)
Sets up phone calls with the editors who make offers on your book if you request it—especially if you have multiple offers.
(10/13)
Does their best not to give you false hope. (This is a tough one… I know agents are hoping for good deals too and this likely isn’t intentional.)
(11/13)
Tells you as soon as they know they do not want to rep a new project, so you can decide whether to find a new agent or change gears.
(12/13)
Parts ways clearly and in writing as soon as they know they no longer want to work with you. It’s tough to end a relationship, even a professional one. But letting a bad one drag out hurts more.
(13/13, see note below)
Authors, please feel free to add to this if you like. I never actually got past the “getting an offer” phase to the “signing a publishing contract” phase, but I’m sure there are things beyond that too. ❤️
(Please note that these are based on my experience with multiple agents and other experiences I have heard about and do not refer to any one specific agent.)

More from Culture

Great article from @AsheSchow. I lived thru the 'Satanic Panic' of the 1980's/early 1990's asking myself "Has eveyrbody lost their GODDAMN MINDS?!"


The 3 big things that made the 1980's/early 1990's surreal for me.

1) Satanic Panic - satanism in the day cares ahhhh!

2) "Repressed memory" syndrome

3) Facilitated Communication [FC]

All 3 led to massive abuse.

"Therapists" -and I use the term to describe these quacks loosely - would hypnotize people & convince they they were 'reliving' past memories of Mom & Dad killing babies in Satanic rituals in the basement while they were growing up.

Other 'therapists' would badger kids until they invented stories about watching alligators eat babies dropped into a lake from a hot air balloon. Kids would deny anything happened for hours until the therapist 'broke through' and 'found' the 'truth'.

FC was a movement that started with the claim severely handicapped individuals were able to 'type' legible sentences & communicate if a 'helper' guided their hands over a keyboard.
One of the authors of the Policy Exchange report on academic free speech thinks it is "ridiculous" to expect him to accurately portray an incident at Cardiff University in his study, both in the reporting and in a question put to a student sample.


Here is the incident Kaufmann incorporated into his study, as told by a Cardiff professor who was there. As you can see, the incident involved the university intervening to *uphold* free speech principles:


Here is the first mention of the Greer at Cardiff incident in Kaufmann's report. It refers to the "concrete case" of the "no-platforming of Germaine Greer". Any reasonable reader would assume that refers to an incident of no-platforming instead of its opposite.


Here is the next mention of Greer in the report. The text asks whether the University "should have overruled protestors" and "stepped in...and guaranteed Greer the right to speak". Again the strong implication is that this did not happen and Greer was "no platformed".


The authors could easily have added a footnote at this point explaining what actually happened in Cardiff. They did not.

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