I am currently 34 years old. Candidates for the presidency …

1. The death penalty, as it is both cruel and has undeniably become unusual, will be abolished in accordance with the Eighth Amendment to the US Constitution. The piles of money saved by no longer having to pay for related costs will be used to pay prison guards a decent wage.

2. Everybody gets health insurance. Live with it, you fucks.
3. If >10% of the constituency of a member of the House or Senate do not have reasonable health insurance coverage, that member of the House or Senate shall be ineligible for any health insurance policy (even private).

4. Term limits are coming to the House of Congress and Senate. It's happening, deal with it.
5. No more privately run, for-profit prisons. If you are a decent human being, you agree with this.

6. Presidential pardons? Yeah, those will not exist. Gone.

7. What about gun policy? You can have all the guns you want as long as they are single-shot bolt action rifles. One trigger pull = One shot fired followed by reload time. This preserves the Second Amendment and hunting while minimizing harm (police still get multi-shot handguns)

8. Churches and charities will pay taxes. If an organization can demonstrate that its actions over the past fiscal year contributed considerably to the public good and that repeat performance in the following year would not be possible without funds, taxes paid *may* be refunded.

9. First time, non-violent criminal offenders will not be sentenced to jail or prison time. Only in unusual circumstances will any non-violent offender be sentenced to jail or prison time. The offender will not like the alternative imposed.

10. Corporations are not people. This requires no explanation. Decent human beings know this already.

11. The electoral college will be eliminated. 51% = win. Arguments to the contrary will be listened to fairly and then most likely summarily dismissed, as it is silly to argue that point.

12. When war is necessary (and not reasonably avoidable through other means)- for every one ton of explosives dropped, we shall also drop two tons of food, medicine, and building supplies in the same area within one hour.

13. Wealth caps. Yeah, I said it. Nobody needs more than $500 million. We're capping individual wealth at $500 million, and if you try to get cute with offshore trickery or other asset sleight-of-hand, you will be shown no mercy and you will regret doing so.

14. Etc...
People like me, from my generation, are coming.
We are not afraid to do good in a highly aggressive manner.
Whether you like it or not, you, your children, and the next hundred generations will benefit from our steadfast resolve to fix what has been so badly fucked.

The medicine will be bitter, but it will stop the gangrene and this world will have a future worth coveting.

I forgot one thing: Anyone who has at any time, past or present, engaged in torture of another human being (including waterboarding) shall be held in prison for the remainder of their days. You should have known it was wrong. No excuses. Retroactive to the beginning of time.

I am currently 34 years old. Candidates for the presidency of the United States must be 35. Here is what to expect when people like me, from my generation, decide the time has come to push out the dinosaurs for the good of all:

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