THREAD:

I just overheard one of the most Millennial breakups, ever.

Scene: the apartment across the alley from me (our windows face)

Intro: High-pitched voice screaming the horror movie scream that can only only be described as "blood curdling"

Young woman: "WHAT'S WRONG?!"

Previous young screaming voice, apparently male: "I DROPPED MY PHONE!"

GF: You scared the shit out of me! What happened?!

BF: I DROPPED MY PHONE IN THE TOILET!

GF: Wash it off!

BF: I CAN'T

GF: It's waterproof. It's fine. Open the door.

BF: IT'S IN THE TOILET
GF: Why is the door locked?

BF: I CAN'T GET MY PHONE

GF: Open the door. I'll do it.

(The boyfriend has been screaming every word in a panic and sobbing)

BF: YOU CAN'T TOUCH IT

GF: What the fuck is going on?

BF: IT'S COVERED IN SHIT IN THE TOILET OH MY GOD I'M GOING TO PUKE
GF: Flush it a couple times and then get it out and wash it off.

BF: (loud gagging)

GF: Jesus did you throw up?

BF: I CAN'T TALK ON MY PHONE EVER AGAIN

GF: Did you seriously just throw up in the toilet on your phone?

BF: (wailing)

GF: (starts laughing)

BF: OMFG NO
GF: Ok, just calm the fuck down, flush it like ten times, and pull it OUT and wash it OFF.

BF: YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND

GF: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

(minutes of sobbing/can't hear them talking quietly)

*suddenly*

GF: WHAT?! WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING FACETIMING HER YOU ASSHOLE?!
BF: WE NEVER FUCKED, SO WHAT IS THE FUCKING PROBLEM? IT'S NOT CHEATING!

GF: FACETIMING SOMEONE ELSE AND JERKING OFF WITH THEM IS FUCKING CHEATING ASSHOLE!

BF: OH MY GOD WILL YOU HANG UP ALREADY?!

GF: She's STILL on your fucking phone?! WELL NOW *SHE'S* DEALING WITH YOUR SHIT!
GF: HE'S ALL YOURS BITCH, AND RIGHT NOW YOU'RE COVERED WITH THE BEST HE'S GOT!

BF: FUCK YOU

GF: Not anymore you won't!

BF: (sobbing)

(Moments later, a car door slams and the car takes off)

- - -

So, if I heard correctly, the phone was still in video chat, in the toilet.
A live feed of tumbling into a... possibly currently full... toilet, then all that muffled audio... then charfing into the same...

That was a Kali-level, multi-handed karmic backhand.

I was too stunned to react at first, but I'm laughing so hard right now, it's hard to Swype.
For those non-believers, here's the window across the way. Distance is less than 20ft. I'm guessing the small window is the bathroom.

I was watching How Ridiculous videos on YouTube, and around 330am his scream started it all.

I have no idea what happened after the car left.

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