The mad mental shopping - that's aff. Ye shoulda had what ye needed delivered safely.
If your Hogmanay is like the others you've had over the years, then chances are, you are doing it fucking wrong
You need to be home, even if that means being alone.
The virus gives as much of a fuck about Hogmanay as id did about Christmas.
The mad mental shopping - that's aff. Ye shoulda had what ye needed delivered safely.
Much bigger than Christmas shopping they dae doon in England
Booze, steak pie, all the veg, cakes and all the essentials ye need for days
If there is nae dark heided guy in yer hoose... go withoot
Yer no wantin yer first fit te be the man that lands ye in the ICU ur ye?
So forget that tradition
Replace it
A can and a plate a clootie will dae.
Chap the door and run away.
Wish em a happy New Year fae a distance
And dae it sober so yer no tempted tae any invite they make
Snappin and girnin as she scrubbed the hoose fae tap tae bottom, re-daen whitever we'd done
Nawe... no good enough, she'd insist. The whole hoose.. had tae be surgically clean
Is yours scrubbed?
No happenin. Her covid-anxiety will be aff the scales if that scrubbin and polishin starts
The hoose has had a run-o'er. It's tidy. Fuck it
That'll dae, whether she likes it or no
She can empty the bins. The mad rush tae empty the bins afore the bells... that'll dae
The windae's get opened tae let the auld year oot and the new wan in tae the hoose
We'll still dae that
She likes tae hear the ships' fog horns
Don't forget that. It's no just the hoose that his tae be scrubbed afore the bells. You hiv tae be tae.
Washed, dried, poshed up afore midnight.
She'll be scrubbed, brushed and polished afore 10 this year if it fuckin kills me
It's an anxiety-free Hogmanay cos I've said so
