A day I got arrested in Pretoria after being mugged

A thread!!

Grand shap I was at Sunnyside Pretoria in some club having drinks with my friends and I can feel that ai Lion Lager iyangbamba jo
So I left the club and when I was outside I could smell inkunzi nje, so I tried walking kahle and fast so that labafana bazongyeka
I ended up ngibaleka, besekushubile phela
Ehh ehh just after 1 street bavela bathi "eh di bra re kopela phone le wallet" ai ai angisho I used to watch movies, those Jackie Chan ones
So vele ngithi ngishaya oy1 nge flying kick bleksem I missed and I fell down ngashaya ngekhanda phansi
Yohhh sengyavuka I'm in Sunnyside police station nkosiyam😢
Ai ngapha I check my pockets I dont have my phone or wallet, some officer eze kim azofuna my details
Thinking that they will let me go ekseni, I gave them a false name Sibusiso Makamole
Grand shap ngilale and ekseni sengbona 4 yamaphoyisa in the cell engikulo ehh sengithola izimpama bathi No, Sibusiso Makamole escaped from the prison cells last week and basho kuth bangtholile
Now am stressed and same time they remove me from my cell and took me to Kgosi Mampuru coz am high risk.. imagine😯
Wuuuu I then tell the truth that no I'm Themba not Sibusiso, yerr they gave me a few klaps and told me to stop lying wuuu ei I arrived at Kgosi Mampuru
So while waiting for the fingerprint results to return and confirm that im Themba, I got in a fight with a gang member lapha tjo ngamushaya strong
So the General of the gang sekangfuna phansi ei I was in solitary the whole week
Friday the results came back babona vele that I'm not Sibusiso I'm Themba and they let me go so I went to my flat
The caretaker saw me and ran away so I chased him, wathi my family came and took my things in the flat because I'm dead😯 so I asked him to borrow me R300 I wanna go home
I went to Jozi and got a taxi that will pass by Springs so I could get off along the way
Ehhh ngalala I taxi yadlula nami sengvuka nje ngise Mpumalanga
Eish instead of going home ngvele ngaphuza lapha ngathola nentombi yaseWitbank
Following day I hike back to Springs and as I got closer to home I saw a tent and people started running away bathi  Spoko Spoko
My Grandma eze kim vele angbheke abone yim uThemba kay1
Turns out the guys who robbed me bashayiswa imoto balimala nobuso, so they found my wallet in one of their pockets and thought yimi ofile
The end...

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